You are  right, there are far more dangerous jobs than youth ministry. I am extremely thankful that my husband does not stare down the barrel of a gun. I cannot imagine the kind of strength a wife would need for that. No matter what the job each one of us, including myself, has and will face great tragedies. Just in each day there are so many ups and downs. Our lives are sprinkled with many different feelings and emotions from happiness to thankfulness, to frustration to sorrow. My hope is that not one of us would deny ourselves the right to feel validated in each and every feeling that we have that gets mixed up inside of us. I hope that in some small way this blog may be a place for someone in ministry to feel heard, connected, and uplifted through a comment, a funny story, or a serious post. And what I love so much about this community of women is the honesty shared about their lives, and the tone that we all take loving God and our husbands seriously but don’t take ourselves too seriously.

I write this in no way with a defensive voice, but with so much concern that many pastor’s wives are told that their feelings are silly or not important. Whether from someone at church or their own inner dialogue. Our “perspective” should be to accept and embrace our feelings whatever they may be and then with God [...]

Continue Reading “In regards to a comment…”

I asked my 4 year old, “What’s the name of our church?”

She replied, “Daddy’s Work.”

Yep. Pretty much…

My husband is very funny. When he teaches he is clever and can drive a strong point home with great humor. He really is gifted. So, whenever I get introduced as …”This is our Youth Pastor Jeff Maguire’s wife, Amanda”, it is 99.9% usually followed with this comment, “Oh, Jeff Maguire’s wife! Your husband is so funny! You must laugh ALL the time!”
I 100% of the time smile and nod and say, “Yes, he is so great.” But in my head, 99.9% of the time I am thinking, “Are you nuts? Of course we don’t just laugh ALL the time. You’re ridiculous!”

Oh, ha ha ha, it’s 5am and you have to go to church early…he he he.

Oohooohhhoooo, the buses broke down and you won’t be home for 7 MORE hours…fuuunny!

Whew, he, he, he, a student backed into our minivan in the church parking lot, ha ha, what a laugh!

Oh, goodness, pizza again! …good one!

Come on people!

(We do often get a good laugh out of his paycheck).

I received this email from a YP wife. I know, and YOU know she is not alone. We have all been here (some are still here) and can empathise. This is what this blog is for, to support and encourage our unique community of youth pastor’s wives. Rally around Ariel . :

I just wonder how many youth minister wives feel isolated. I have been a youth minister wife for over a year and still feel isolated. Everyone at our church is so sweet and loving but we have no real support system or friends. Very few people are close to our age, we are in are early 20′s with a six month old) at church so that contributes to the issue but still, I feel so isolated and lonely. Everyone sees me as the youth minister’s wife but NOT ME, and even if they do no one has taken the time to REALLY get to know me.  Anyone else feeling alone?

My cute 7 year old son just played a drum solo in his school’s talent show. He did a phenomenal job, if I do say so myself. However, the few weeks leading up to the big show was not so awesome. We had a run in with a 5th grade bully! Three different times this bully intimidated my 1st grader and told him he had better NOT sign up for the talent show, HE was going to be the ONLY one to play the drums, not Dylan. (Side note: my kid has an unusually remarkable ability to play the drums at a very young age and he had preformed at last years talent show as a kindergartner as well). Dylan was sad, and discouraged and did not want to deal with this kid so he decided he wasn’t going to preform. But after a good talking to from my husband and different students that we see on a regular basis he felt up for it and began to practice again. LONG story short, because of the encouragement from students and even their parents and ministry leaders from our church Dylan felt strong and brave and loved and like a full blown rock star! We had 35 people sitting in the audience with PANIC ATTACK T-shirts on (his band name ). They cheered and clapped and gave him a standing ovation! It was one of the greatest [...]

Continue Reading “The joy of Panic Attack!”

Anna had such a great question I had to post it. I just know she’s not alone!

Do any of you YM wives out there who are the breadwinner for your family or have the “real job” struggle inwardly with that role?

So it’s not so much the money issue as the whole reversal of the “typical” gender roles.  I want to tread lightly here and not stir up either feminist or traditional ideas. I also want to make known that I love my job.  It’s not a big deal now, it’s more of a scary thought when I think of when we start having kids.  Are there any moms out there that are the breadwinners too?  How do you handle it?  Not so much the logistics or scheduling, but just the personal part of it?  Do you ever struggle with that and just wish you could be a homebody?  Or if you don’t have kids, do you ever get tired of having a “real job” and wish your job could be as fun as your husband’s?

Here’s a comic relief quote that I have jokingly said on occasion:
“My ministry is to make money so my husband can be a minister.”

Just like Troy said to Gabriella, “We’re all in this together!” I would love to hear from you. Any topics you’d like to address, issues you want to talk about, posts you may like to write….

I’m all ears. Send me a message in any of the comment areas and I can get back to you personally. I love hearing from you .

Amanda

I have been thinking a lot about this concept lately; That my cup should always “overflow”. The overflow is the outpouring to others. The full cup is mine and God’s to share.

I so often allow myself to “get empty”, have to refuel again, dump it all out and fill up again, dump out, fill up, etc…

I think I will struggle with this one on how to stay full all of the time. I really want to learn this in my daily life. Think how amazing this would look with our spouses, our kids, ministry and friends. Ahhhhh, to be full of God’s love, grace, mercy and peace all of the time and to have the overflow of that flow onto the rest of my life. (Even the mental picture of this feels good).

That sounds real nice right about now in this crazy season of life.

If you read the title of this post and thought, “I can’t relate to this one.” -Obviously, you don’t have kids. (you should stay tuned, you might have kids one day or know someone who does that you could encourage.)
If you read it and thought, “No Biggie.” -You may have one (or more) amazingly patient and easy-going kid(s). Or may be Superwoman.
If you read it with a tone of exhaustion and confusion… -You are probably in the thick of kids, any age, and being pulled at both ends, trying to juggle family and ministry, and all the other life that happens in between.

No question about it, or doubt. IT IS HARD TO RAISE A FAMILY IN MINISTRY.

When we do our conferences and talks, this topic more than any other seems to be addressed. We spend a big bulk of our time discussing the ups and downs and ins and outs of family and ministry. Its difficult to nail down, so much depends on your own family dynamics (does your husband want or need you around), the church you are at (is it a 2 fer 1), the age of your kids, the number of kids, the behavior of your kids (when you are around with your kids, are you a 3 ring circus coming to town?).

But I ALWAYS LOVE to generate ideas and ways for you and the kids to be invloved in the ministry that are practical and helpful.

This is a [...]

Continue Reading “I Have Kids!…”

Sound weird? Serving in ministry for 14 years, married to a youth pastor for 12 years, and getting baptized now.? So here’s the story…

I was baptized when I was 8. I don’t doubt that the childhood decision I made recognizing the need for Christ in my life was real, but I have done a lot of “living” in between 8 and 35. God has revealed himself to me in very real ways, and as an adult have been changed dramatically by his love. I am learning what freedom in Christ looks like and feels like. I have learned (learning still maybe) what owning my faith is. Its about me and God. Just us two. I want to celebrate this journey and I want my church family to celebrate with me. I have felt tugged to be baptized for at least the last 5 years or so. But have always brushed off the feeling being too embarrassed of what people would say about a pastor’s wife just now getting baptized. And even what would the Senior pastor think of me. I shrugged it off each time thinking, I did get baptized technically… that works, the box was checked off.

And because of a handful of amazing people that God has orchestrated in my life from our  church family, I feel strong enough and encouraged to do something that  God is asking me to do. I will respond to His leading, no matter what is said, or [...]

Continue Reading “I’m getting baptized!”