I am COMPLETELY out of style. I don’t know if motherhood sucks it right out of you, or if I never was in style before. But I really am out of it now. My confession is this:
Have you ever had a dream that you know is not going to happen, EVER. And you are realistic about it in your real life, but you keep thinking in the parenthesis of your mind, that it might, maybe happen. But really it won’t. I think…that Oprah will come to my house as I’m sitting on the couch while my kids are napping. She will kid nap me and take me to her Make-Over Show. Her team of highly skilled make-up and style goo-roos will transform me into the fashion model I feel I am on the inside.
That’s it. That’s the dream.
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I’m Amanda Maguire and I have been “Married to a Youth Pastor” for almost 12 years now. We have 3 kids, Dylan (8) and Molly (6) and Scotty (3). I worked in full-time youth ministry for 4 years, got married and got a “real job”, allowing me to continue to be a volunteer in youth ministry for another 4 years. We started having kids and now I’m just married to the Youth Pastor. I have great friends and a fun life! I have a passion and a calling for wives just like me, married to a Youth Pastor.
I love to write.
I love to do creative activities.
I love to run.
I love to shop.
I love to dine out.
And I would love time to do any of these things more.
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Girl…I am SO with you. I not only losted all sense of fashion I gained 20 pounds after giving birth! Who wants to dress up and look cute when you are just going to be on the floor playing all day. There are many days I have to remind myself….I must take a shower….even if it is just for my husband!
Let’s say it again….I must take a shower!
first of all, i love the “mom jeans” picture from SNL. haha!!
i realized after having the same hairstyle for about a year, that my cute trendy haircut was exactly what i was trying to avoid when i went and “invested” in it…a mom hair cut. well, its not terribly mom-ish; only slightly. definitley not as cute as i thought it was though, now that i’m growing it out again.
as far as style, i find what helps me is having a few good standby outfits that make me look nice without really trying. most of them are those, dare i say it, comfy cotton sundresses you can get at Old Navy for 24 bucks. then i’m wearing a dress and i feel a little less schlumpy.
for what its worth……
Yo. Amanda. Crap. You have ALWAYS had/have style!! I am confident that nothing has changed over the years. You are absolutely beautiful. Miss you! Bruen
Fashion on a Youth Minister’s budget is tricky! You need to look approachable and “cool” so the kids think, “Hey, our youth pastor’s wife is a hottie/hip/chic (fill in other acceptable word here).”
BUT! Where does the money come from so that we can buy the clothes or the haircut!?
“Mom fashion” must equal low maintenance and inexpensive.
“Married to a Youth Pastor Fashion” for me equals hand-me-downs from the Pastor wife. He makes the big bucks at our church!
Amanda,
Here is the video that goes with that picture:
http://distractiondomain.com/media/videos/mom_jeans.mov
I posted it on my blog awhile ago and told everyone to PLEASE let me know if it ever got that bad! Ahhh! I understand what you mean about looking cool on a youth pastor’s salary. And with kids in the picture you end up spending any extra on them!
ha – that video is hysterical!
I have recently gotten into watching TLC’s What Not to Wear to try to get some fashion sense. But alas, not enough moolah in the budget for those designer jeans! I guess that is my dream, that Stacey and Clinton would show up at my door!
Amanda, that is totally my dream, too!:-) Or, that Clinton Kelly and Stacy London from TLC’s What Not to Wear will interrupt the church service after I stepped off the platform from singing to tell me that they’ve been secretly filming me for the past two weeks.
Maybe you should write to Oprah and get her to do a show for youth pastor’s wives who struggle with this dilemma of looking like a cutie.hottie for the teens, but are also trying to be a mom on a low budget. Sounds like a great show and you can recommend all of us to be given free tickets to be in the audience for that show so she can give us free stuff! At least you can get the real makeover and the rest of us can benefit, as well! Yeah, I like this idea a lot! Then, we can all meet each other and rejoice at our blessings!:-) This, in turn, will also show Oprah that ministry wives, though we are blunt about the struggles, know that we have been called to be in ministry with our husbands and this show is one more way that God takes care of us! Yeah, this is good…is someone taking notes?
I absolutely love this blog because I can relate so well with all of you guys! I am married to a youth pastor and we have a 9 month old baby boy- who is amazing. I try so hard to be involved in youth group but the trips are just too hard to do. Right now my husband is up at summer camp (we love hume!) and I am having the hardest time ever staying home! We couldn’t afford for me to go because the seperate room was to much for us plus I work part-time (teaching piano lessons from home) and would miss out on a week’s worth of pay. So I am missing him like crazy and can’t wait for this week to be over! I finally got to talk to my husband today and find out that about half of the students are super sick right now- I am not sure what started it but everyone in our youth group is throwing up the last couple of days- they are dealing with this right now trying to figure out whether or not to send the whole group home early. Although I would love to see my husband sooner it would not be good for them to come home early. Please pray that God will heal all the students and that the right decision will be made. Thanks for all your posts!
Can I go to that Oprah show too!
I love this picture. And you’re so right. A friend and I were out shopping and trying on clothes today…wondering if they were too “mommish” or if they were still considered “cool.” Gotta love what being a mom does to us!
Wait- what? A couple of these comments didn’t sit right with me. Is it really a priority to look like a “hottie” for the kids in the youth group? If it’s between that and my budget, the budget wins every time. Shouldn’t we focus on teaching the kids that character counts more than clothes? Your hotness or coolness or whatever is going to come from the kids’ getting to know you, as well as what they know of your life with your husband (i.e. all the little illustrations from home he uses in his mid-week talk).
When I was in high school my youth pastor’s wife was a nurse who often showed up wearing scrubs and a ponytail to youth group. She didn’t make any apologies for this. She was supporting her husband by working while he went to seminary. As I got to know her, I learned that she did have some beauty secrets (wearing earrings and eyeliner every day), but the greatest thing I learned was that she was a woman of God who was a great support to her husband. She opened her heart to us girls, and that is what made her so cool.
I have the What Not to Wear dream, too- don’t get me wrong! We don’t make a lot of money as families in ministry, but can’t we use that as an opportunity to show our possession- and looks-obsessed kids that there’s WAY more to life than looking hot?
How about this: a swap meet for local youth pastor’s wives. We’re cool ladies- why not let our old duds get some extra mileage and pick up something gently used that the youth group hasn’t seen us wear yet.
Can I go to the Oprah show too?!
Hey, Kristin! You are so right, my dear! I really don’t try to look like a hottie, but the pressure to actually have in-style shoes and such really does get to you sometimes. I don’t really care if the girls want to borrow my shoes, though, as much as I care if they feel that they can chat with me about anything. Thanks for the reality check!
Jess