People matter, not numbers….

Amanda on June 12th, 2009

Those were the words that were stated at a church we use to work at.  And is what any church in America would say. I wish it felt true. It seems now more than ever, in our ministry, numbers matter.

“How many do you have in your youth group?”

“How many came to the weekend service?”

“How many showed up at mid-week?”

How many, how many, how many? That’s all we are hearing around here. Does it matter? Yes. On one hand I understand that numbers can reflect growth and health. But I also understand the “elders” (or whatever they are called at your church) deciding a number that they think should be attending and holding an unrealistic and not to mention unhealthy expectation over the youth staff’s head is crazy. I know my husband has spent a lot of time refocusing our youth group to bring it to a more healthy place for the students and the staff. Unfortunately the “powers that be” aren’t saying, “Wow what a happy, healthy youth group you have here!” “More students are serving now, than ever.” “More students are plugged into a small group more than ever.”  What they are saying is, “Wow, these numbers aren’t climbing like they used to. What’s wrong?” (Barf.)  It is so hard to win. More games, more concerts, more events, more camps…that’ll reach ‘em! Run your staff so ragged that they don’t have time for their families, make them so tired they question their call into ministry. What a great idea, all in the name of more numbers!

Wouldn’t it be great and so refreshing to get back to the basic thought of, its the people that matter, not the numbers. Because if our people (including students, staff, and families) are taken care of don’t you think the rest will fall into place?

(Sorry for the soap-box-speech)

Angelina had a great question, that we ask ourselves in ministry time and time again. The neverending question:  “You want to give your best to the church and youth group and it seems like more is expected but you want to be a healthy family also….How do you deal with that?

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Oh, Sweet Wisdom…

Amanda on June 9th, 2009

Sometimes life can get so hectic in ministry. You know, it really goes in seasons. And I can (most of the time) keep a clear head about me knowing the big picture that this too shall pass and there will be a peaceful time again. But my kids, as expected, are not the same. Recently there has been so much happening I have been bringing my kids to appropriate events, BBQ’s, game nights, dinners, etc., that they might think were fun and would get to see dad. After a few weeks of “fun” we were about to go to a family church BBQ to meet up with Jeff and my 5 year old son did not want to go. He was so sad about it. So I tried to tell him it would be fun for him, he would get to see daddy and other friends and we would all be together.

In his ever so wise 5 year old voice he says, “Daddy is there, but he can’t be with me.”

Oooh!!! So true. I didn’t think of it in the perspective of a 5 year old. It has to be pretty confusing to see daddy “playing” with other kids and not always available for his own. So as parents we will have to change things up a bit. Not go to so many “fun” events. We will work it out. I’m not too worried about the long term effects. But his words have really stayed with me this week. What a powerful sentence.

“You are there, but you can’t be with me.”

Does this statement trickle into any other parts of my world? Yes. I unfortunately think so. Not just with my kids sometimes, but with my relationship with my husband, relationships with friends, and my relationship with God. There are definitly times that life is going so fast, fun or not, that I am present, but not available. I would like to change that up a bit.

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It’s been a little over a year!

Amanda on June 5th, 2009

Just feeling a little sentimental…my first post a little more than a year ago, we’ve come so far. It has been so fun to see how God has grown this community of youth pastor’s wives. It has been such a blessing and encouragement to me to get to know all of you!

No, I didn’t think this through! Had I made a pro/con list, there is a good likely hood it wouldn’t have happened (sort of sarcastic). I was in full time ministry for a few years before we got married, so I kinda knew what I was in for. We got married and someone had to get a real job…me.

Then we started having kids, Dylan 4, Molly 2, and baby #3 on the way (due in September). So my ministry journey has been a roller coaster, but whose ministry journey isn’t? This is a crazy business being married to a youth pastor. Luckily, I have some wonderful mentors and friends who are on a similar journey and a great sense of humor. Because if you can’t laugh at your husband and your church…you will go nuts!

My hope for this blog is that it be a place for youth pastors’ wives to visit and laugh, and relate to these entries. I would love for this to become a little community where we can encourage each other through comments and even emails. I also pray that this would be a tool for us to learn from others who are on the same journey even though our stories are so different. I am not an expert but I am passionate about our calling. We are stretched much further than most know and are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

My hope and prayer for this blog remains the same.

Love you guys!

Amanda

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