Jeff has been home now for one glorious week. And we are back to our “normal” crazy. And I LOVE IT. Feels like I can breathe again.
I just wanted to let you know how supported I felt by all of your so sweet comments and encouraging words while he was away. I didn’t know just how much I needed this community until last week. I read and re-read those posts everyday.
Thank you. You all truly ministered to me and helped me through a tough week.
Love to you,
Amanda
So I’m working on my last half of a nerve, but luckily Jeff is coming home today!! I can barely remember what we were fighting about before he left (except that it is the post right before this). I’m just so glad to see him. His bus was suppose to come in around 4pm, the kids and I had a great plan to meet him at the church and take him to dinner for a welcome home surprise! But they were late leaving camp and won’t be in til 7pm, so we changed up our plans and will bring dinner to church and play til dad rolls in…good plan. Well, the traffic is bad it will be after 8pm. Okay, okay we will have our dinner and just play til he comes in and then take him home and go to bed. No problem. AND the bus breaks down so it will be well after 11pm.(uughh) New plan, on my own for dinner, baths, bedtime again and, “Welcome home dad! We are all asleep!”
Awesome!
This is the brutal truth…
This post is not for the faint of heart…
As we were pre-camp send off, Jeff was feeling the stress and I was anticipating the long week ahead with two kids and a teething (non-sleeping) baby. Neither of us were in the best of moods. We got ready for bed and I asked Jeff if he could wake up with the baby in the middle of the night this last time even though he had to leave by 5am to go to camp. He hesitantly agreed and we went to sleep for a little while to be awakened at 1am, he got up, fed the baby and put him back to bed still awake and crabby. Both of us awake and mad I express to him just how mad I am at him for not putting the baby back to sleep. So I get up to go rock the baby and continue to express my unpleasant feelings knowing he can hear me in the monitor, I may have cussed a little. Baby asleep by 3:15am, back to bed with a large thump to startle Jeff awake so he knows what time it is. 3:45am awakened AGAIN by the snoring of my lovely husband! I am so so mad I throw the covers off and hit him in the face with a pillow, accidentally. He sits up, “What happened?” I again express my mad feelings by storming out of the room saying something like, “I hate your guts!” (So mature I know) And I sleep in the big kids room. I wake up at 6:00am to baby crying and husband gone to camp.
What a night! And what a great send off for my husband… See you in a week!
Now, I know how important it is to have Jeff know that I support him even when its hard. Last night was hard. And I obviously didn’t do a very good job showing him that I loved and supported him. Please do not send me advice and scripture about how God tells us not to let the sun set on our anger…. I know that too. I feel awful.
Not a pretty picture and nothing is tied up in a bow. Jeff is at camp and we really won’t be able to resolve anything til he gets back. Such a bummer!
There is a real picture of someone in the “business” for 14 years and still doesn’t have it all together!
I really do super love my husband and love that he gets to pour into the lives of students! I am glad that he gets to go to camp because I know he loves this part of his job the most.
I know we will make it through this week and I know we will resolve everything…
Forgiveness and grace are great.
One more summer event, ladies! I see the finish line ahead. It feels like I have been running a marathon this summer, holding one more kids than last year, its been a long haul. Back to back camps and events that I have not been able to take part in, and a “family” vacation/visit I had to do (mostly) alone this year, it has not been easy. (My biggest excuse for not blogging so much, sorry!)
I seem to always naively look forward to the summer months in May. I think of warm lazy days, sitting by the pool or beach, a simple family picnic with everyone in matching clean clothes quietly eating and singing praises of how clever mom is for organizing such peaceful and meaningful time together.
NOT.
It NEVER seems to pan out that way!
So now that I am approaching the finish line of summer I am looking forward… forward to school starting, forward to crazy weeks that Jeff will be home, forward to Monday spaghetti dinners with the masses, forward to predictable week days, and forward to weekends that are busy but the same. I LOVE a good schedule. I love knowing what the day will bring. I love to plan, and keep the plan!
I know we all have horror stories and amazing stories of how we survived our summers . I don’t want to ignore that fact that as women we need some time to process through that…
But I want to know what you are looking FORWARD to. What’s coming up for you? What do you love most about summer being over, and the new school year ahead?