Have you ever really messed up? I mean, completely blown it. I have and I thought there is no way to recover from this one. I have finally figured out that it is okay to mess up and fail! Congratulations, you didn’t do it!
The great thing about failing is that it is not the end result. It is part of the process. Another element in life. For instance, Abraham Lincoln’s resume:
? 1831 – Lost his job ? 1832 – Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature ? 1833 – Failed in business ? 1834 – Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success) ? 1835 – Sweetheart died ? 1836 – Had nervous breakdown ? 1838 – Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker ? 1843 – Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress ? 1846 – Elected to Congress (success) ? 1848 – Lost re-nomination ? 1849 – Rejected for land officer position ? 1854 – Defeated in run for U.S. Senate ? 1856 – Defeated in run for nomination for Vice President ? 1858 – Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate ? 1860 – Elected President (success)
Not great. Obviously not all those events were his fault but they could have caused him to quit trying.
So, if you feel like nothing is going right….then you are on the right track. It doesn’t matter if the failure is in marriage, work, ministry, or faith. You aren’t finished yet, so if you want to go from suck to success, you only need one step. Get back up and keep trying.
Jeremy Bloom is trying to figure out life, God, and family. Follow him on Twitter – @finding_jeremy or on his blog about youth ministry.
This will be my third year at SYMC, and to say that I am excited is an understatement. I have had a countdown going on my computer for weeks, and just recently made one of those elementary school paper chain countdown things in my office. (Seriously, it droops over the picture wall!)
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SYMC 2010 in Chicago was my first year. I went with a couple of other youth workers in my local network who had been before and said how great it was. I was kind of reluctant to go. I had been in a valley in my ministry and felt like I was on my way out. I thought that I would go and maybe get a few good nuggets of info here or there, hear a couple of good bands, and head back to a situation that I wanted so desperately to flee. What I got from SYMC was so much more. Yes, I did get some information that I was able to use in my ministry, and yes, I heard some good music, but I got so so much more than that. I got back my passion for ministry, this wasn?t something planned but God knew what I needed and showed me just that at SYMC. I also strengthened old relationships and built new friendships and relationships. Those people I met have become some of my closest friends to this day and have [...]
I’ve noticed something lately about the way the church and youth ministries tend to talk to girls. We (unfortunately at times I would include myself) communicate that the end game for a girl is getting the right kind of guy. Even though we don’t mean to it just happens. Books sold to teen girls about how to get the right kind of guy (a christian book nonetheless…and I haven’t read it but I am assuming the title is meant to mislead by promising to help girls snag a guy.) A youtube video for Christian girls on how to attract a godly guy. And than we are surprised and frustrated that all girls care about is boys. Oh the irony.
We need to change the end game.
The end game for every girl we encounter should be a radical life following after Jesus. That life may include an occupation in the public circles, a life of full time ministry, marriage, kids or all of the above.
When we begin to believe in a bigger or more radical end game for girls it changes how we communicate to them. We tell their stories better. And in my heart I believe we help girls move their attention from dating to bigger dreams…from drama to radical living. Don’t we all really want that for our girls?
What do you think? What are your thoughts about changing the end game?
Posted by Kurt Johnston
This is the 5th in a little series about some of the things that have helped me last for almost 25 years. There is no silver bullet here, just a little insight about things that have seemed to make a difference in my journey as a youth worker.
BLEED IT, BUT DON’T BLEED TO DEATH!
Every now and then, a young youth worker will say something like this, “Youth ministry is my life!”. To which I always reply internally, and upon occasion even blurt out, “Really? That’s too bad.”
I think youth ministry, or any ministry endeavor for that matter, deserves some extra effort. Youth ministry isn’t for folks who are clock-watchers, who only want to do the minimum job requirements. I actually think it deserves to be led by men and women who aren’t afraid to “bleed” it a little bit. But we should NEVER bleed to death!
- When you consistently sacrifice your family for the sake of your youth ministry…you are bleeding to death. - When your friendships suffer because you spend too much time at youth ministry events…you are bleeding to death. - When you have no outside hobbies because you spend your free time with teenagers or planning events for teenagers…you are bleeding to death. - When you fail to take your day off, or you skimp on vacation time due to the demands of youth ministry…you are bleeding to death. - When you spend time in the word out of the need to [...]
Our good friend (and founder) Thom Schultz has an interesting take on one of the ongoing debates in youth missions – Are they really worth it?
Short-Term Missions A Waste?
What do you think? Did Thom get it right?
Don’t sell Jesus short.
I spent the weekend with a church in a faith tradition I am fairly new to. They have a rich heritage of liturgical worship. But if one made the mistake of thinking this church’s denom is bereft of showing feelings of faith or the goodness of God, one would be wrong.
The YP of this church had a similar epiphany today. She has a deep love for Jesus but thought her diverse international students would be uncomfortable with referencing anyone but “God.” After all, they don’t declare an emotional faith and “Jesus” is just too intimate, right?
After she had a discussion with my ministry partner, Adam DeVries, she told her students she was going to unashamedly call Jesus by his name. How shocked and delighted she was when they were happy for her AND them. They cheered.
My point? Don’t sell Jesus short in your youth ministry. Kids KNOW when they come near you that there’s a good chance they’re going to hear about God. They’re even disappointed when they don’t.
Remember: Jesus is the name of the one to whom everyone will bow. It’s just a matter of when.
S
q Jeremiah 1:4 ?The Word of God came to me saying, before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.?
q God had a vision a plan for you. Do you have one for the assignment He has given you?
q Vision: The picture of God?s potential, purpose, and possibilities for your life.
q Show me a person without vision, and I will show you a person who is at a standstill in life.
q Proverbs 29:18 ?Where there is no vision the people perish.?
q Life Point: The key element to getting out of my present state is the vision that I have for myself.
q Jeremiah 29:11 ?For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope,
Vision Truthsq True vision goes beyond what I can accomplish on my own.
q True vision adds value to others.
q True vision attracts vision.
q True vision must have God in it.
q Acts 2:17 ?And it shall come to pass in the last days says God, I will pour out of my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and daughters shall prophesy and your young men shall see visions and your old men shall dream dreams.?
5 Road Blocks to Vision Failure
GRAND PRIZE = Kim
Runner-UP = Keri D.
2nd Place = Courtney L.
3rd Place = Mollie
So much fun to read your stories! Thanks for sharing them with us for a little giggle 
Yeah, for our fun little contest.
Love you guys!!!!
Congratulations!
As stated previously, November 4 is the cut off.
Tomorrow we vote.
I have finagled prizes!!
GRAND PRIZE = FREE admission to the SYMC this year in Chicago, March 4-7
Runner-UP = 25 bucks to Starbucks
2nd Place = 15 bucks to Starbucks
3rd Place = 10 buck to Starbucks
(Not too shabby, if you ask me.)
Good luck ladies!
Check back here to cast your vote, YOU GUYS will be picking the winners. All day on the 5th write in the “comments” of the person that gave you the best giggles. I will have a VOTE NOW post.
“I LONG for a REAL date night”….
I seem to find this comment or question a lot when I talk to youth pastors wives, or wives in general really.
And I find that most of us are convinced that we are suppose to go on a “date night” once a week. I have come to the conclusion that whoever made the rule of a “once a week” date night DIDN’T have small children, school, church, students, and DID have a plethera of money when they set this standard. Once a week comes around really fast at our house and I feel like a big fat loser if I didn’t make a “date night” with my husband. Don’t get me wrong, I value my marriage and desire to put it in high priority status. But I feel the pressure and it feels unrealistic to go out on a date once a week. I, personally cannot afford it nor could I find and pay for a babysitter that often. So, what to do??
Spending time alone with my husband is super important to me (my love language is time, however spent, I just want to be with the people I love). Even if it’s at bed time and we turn off the TV and talk for twenty minutes just to connect each day. And then every once in a while, and it’s more like once a month, do we pay a babysitter to go out alone the two of us. And this has played out pretty well for our marriage. But I would like to get more creative at home, after we put the kids to bed. (Get your minds outta the gutter girls! I don’t need that kind of help.) Like a simple “date night” at home. More movie nights at home, or fancy dessert time, stuff like that.
Any one have other creative stay-at-home-after-the-kids-are-asleep date ideas?
Or thoughts about “Date Nights”?
I LOVE to laugh!And tonight I totally got the inappropriate giggles thinking about a post from one of you guys (Jessica ) from a year ago! The inappropriate time and place was while Jeff was talking to me very seriously (and sternly) about money issues, you can only imagine. And just as I am sure my 6 year old son does, my mind began to wonder about what I might blog about (hehe). And I started to remember a post when everyone posted something about how they encourage their spouses when ministry gets tough (or something close to that). And it actually was a contest for winning you and your husband free “Simply Youth Ministry Conference” admission, and sweet Jessica wrote about having her mother-in-law babysit and going to buy lingerie at the Wal-Mart, and everything spun out of control and it was a total bust of a night! Anyway, I’m sure its not totally right, but it gave me a great giggle I should go way back in the archives and re-read that one! (She won the contest by the way.)
I should do that again! Have a contest so some of you guys can go to the “Simply Youth Ministry Conference” for free. Ah, I love going to the conference with Jeff and meeting some of you guys! I can’t wait, its March 4-11 in Chicago. I really hope some of you will consider going with your husbands. It really is a lot of fun.
Anyone who has gone before please testify!
As for my great idea, “The Contest”… Let’s do it! I mean I haven’t asked the SYM guys yet, but sometimes its easier to ask for forgiveness, than permission. So here goes…
The topic:
“The funniest time YOU ever had “inappropriate giggles”.
I’ll give you until November 4th to post your stories, tell your friends to enter too, the more stories the more I can laugh! Then we all can vote on some winners!
And I will see you at the conference!
Love you guys!!
I LOVE when this comes up….
I LOVE the honesty that presents itself when discussing this….
I LOVE the tension that some of us will feel…
I LOVE that this IS real…
And I LOVE that there is no right answer for this…
(a question that is frequently posted, let’s talk)…
Wonder if you love your husband, and support your husband, but do not share so much of that love for students?
What would you share with another youth pastor’s wife, or what personal story do you have? What happens?
As I come back from hiatus from this blog, my mind is spinning of things I want to say and so many issues I love talking about with you guys. Where to begin??
First things first. I truly struggled through this summer. Jeff traveled a lot, more than ever. I really just barely held it together for the kids. But I knew it was important for his ministry and our family and knew it was just for a short season, so I “grinned and bared” it. Then school started, and is it just our side of the world, or do your husbands disappear when September rolls around? Back to school stuff, planning small groups… etc, it seems to always be the “kick-off” or “launch” of some program in Youth Ministry. So again, since I knew it was for a short season, I (sort-of) “grinned and bared” it. Now there are some “new” things going on in ministry and I am finding that we (mostly he) are our 4-5 nights a week. I am so tired as well as our kids, I am hanging on my last, short, very thin thread. I know, as in everything this too is only for a short season. But I cannot “grin and bare” anything anymore. Something’s gotta give, and it looks like it might be my sanity! So Jeff and I have sat down and had a little “heart to heart”. (And if you know me or have read any of these blogs, you know that sounds too nice-y nice, and you’re right). We plain had it out. This girl is done. No grinning around here. Things are going to change PERIOD. The Maguire’s are getting off this crazy train.
We (Jeff and I) HAVE to take control of our schedules and family again. No more excuses of “seasons”. Something “important”, and “urgent” is always going to come up. We have to exercise our “NO”. I have to take responsibility of this as well. I let myself get lost in the shuffle. In no way is this only Jeff’s issue. I have a voice as well. And a smart brain that listens to God’s voice and can hear what’s good and bad or unhealthy for myself, my marriage, and my kids. I really got swept away (and right under the carpet).
I say this a lot… “After 14 years in full time ministry, you’d think I would have this down!”
I know it sounds crazy, but I hope this is an encouragement to you. Knowing that none of us has it all together. We are all in the same boat. I am riding through this journey right along side of you. 1 year, or 14 years, or 30 years, its all wisdom, joys, and pains to be shared.
I DO love this journey. God has shown me a lot about my character through all of this. And I have rediscovered that I miss, and LOVE encouraging you through your wonderful, amazing, difficult, stretching, awesome journey of ministry as well!
There are a lot of changes happening in our student ministries right now. In the midst of the crazy summer so many other components are moving in different directions. Many of the changes are great, and needed. And it will be exciting to see how God will unfold all that we have been praying for.
But there are a few changes that I (as the wife) do not like so much and don’t understand. It is these changes that I don’t know what to say, and not say, and just what to do. My pride wants to shout at my husband, “Hey, did ya think it all through? Are ya real, REAL sure about that one?!” And my favorite, “Listen to me, listen to me, just listen to me!” BUT…..I know I shouldn’t.
I don’t know if I’m alone on this one, or what?? Anyone else fear change as much as me? I totally trust my husband and his call to this ministry. I do believe he is brilliant and gifted and a wonderful leader. Buuutttttt, what do you do when you don’t agree with it all??
Nothing?
Pray?
Vent, and visit this site?
I did take a big step (for me) this weekend. Our Pastor asked us to choose one area in which we would come to God daily for the summer and ask his guidance. I was certain that I was going to ask for wisdom concerning all these changes happening for us in ministry. That I would pray right along side Jeff for all that is to come in this season… But I’m not. I will leave that for Jeff and God.
I am praying for rest.
“Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Mt. 11:28)
I am tired.
I am lonely from this summer (already).
I need rest.
And (I’m convinced) not just a nap. I need a rest for my soul. A rest that I can only imagine can come from God. I will be praying daily for rest this summer. I cannot wait to discover what that kind of rest feels like! And leave the other stuff for someone else…
I think I added some pictures onto the last post! The Oscar meyer wienermobile came to our house last week! It was hilarious! We even got to take a ride. So I think that’s what got posted??
I think I figured out at least how to post pictures that I take with my phone. I am WAY smarter than I give myself credit for. Wish I could see what I did
Now, I just added this wordpress ap to my phone so I can try to post from it. We will see how this works. I am a horrible texter and hate, passionately typing from this tiny little keyboards. Sobthis will definitely keep my babbling to a minimum. And if there are typos let’s just pretend it’s our little game that you have to guess what I am meaning to say cuz if I have to keep pressing the delete button…I’m screwed. And when I post from my phone I don’t know how to add any cute little pictures. Anyone smart enough to explain that to me??
But what I have been really curious about and want to hear from you is what does this summer look like for you and your family? What is your husbands schedule? Usually this is “our” (youth ministry) biggest busiest season. Our husband are gone and coo coo and the rest I’d the church is just that – resting!
It’s hard to find some support and sympathy
I would love to hear all abou it!
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