Jeff spoke about our craziness in “Big Church” this weekend. I will have to say he was amazing . Feel free to give it a listen.

Click here to see Jeff talk about how God has been working… (click on the message called “Spoonfuls of Life” the message itself is about 20 minutes if you fast forward through the rest of the service).

So we keep moving right along. As much as I would love to sit in the confusion and the injury of my husband, the kids keep us going like it or not.
My 5 year old started kindergarten today. It was so cute to see him walk up to the line this morning with his huge backpack weighing him down. Last night he giggled himself to sleep, he was so excited for school today.
I am currently watching him sit at the counter and sharpen his pencils. I bought him a pack of 8 pencils and his own pencil sharpener. He is sitting like a little man getting ready to “do his homework”. But really only sharpening over and over again ALL the pencils until they are all little tiny nubs. (He has 2 more to go). It’s all such an ironic sight at the moment. Coming off such a dramatic vacation that God was speaking so clearly to both Jeff and I. I feel as if God is “sharpening” me and yet I am twisted down to a “nub” as well.
I know God is going to take all the shavings and make something a-whole-lot-better. Its kinda painful. And I am noticing it requires more action from me than I think I have the energy for.

Here is how our trip went:
*12 hour drive turns into 18 hours…
*Jeff knee swells for unknown reason.
*We stop on Vegas strip to see doctor, exposing our sweet innocent children to awesome nudiness.
*After 2 hours, get back in the car and I get a speeding ticket.
*Make it to Park City, get dropped off at the house. Jeff is in so much pain he goes to the ER.
*2 hours of sleep that night. Wake up take Jeff to the hospital.
*Hospital, schedule SURGERY…3 days in Salt Lake hospital.
*Back to Park City Thursday with a home care nurse, IV antibiotics, suction evacuation back hanging from his body, and a wheelchair.
*Saturday more doctors
*Sunday pack up bags and car.
*Monday a 13 hour drive home.

My brain is mush, I am overwhelmed and exhausted. I have no words for this trip. It was so horrible, yet God worked in some miraculous ways through our brokenness.
I will tell about it when I get my brain cells back.

So, it has taken me 8 hours (no joke) to pack for a 12 hour car ride, for our family vacation. This SOOOO better be worth it, right? Am I outta mind mind? 3 kids under 5 in a car, jam packed for 12 hours? Ladies??
I will keep you posted..
Much love,
amanda

Jeff has been home now for one glorious week. And we are back to our “normal” crazy. And I LOVE IT. Feels like I can breathe again.

I just wanted to let you know how supported I felt by all of your so sweet comments and encouraging words while he was away. I didn’t know just how much I needed this community until last week. I read and re-read those posts everyday.

Thank you. You all truly ministered to me and helped me through a tough week.

Love to you,

Amanda

So I’m working on my last half of a nerve, but luckily Jeff is coming home today!! I can barely remember what we were fighting about before he left (except that it is the post right before this). I’m just so glad to see him. His bus was suppose to come in around 4pm, the kids and I had a great plan to meet him at the church and take him to dinner for a welcome home surprise! But they were late leaving camp and won’t be in til 7pm, so we changed up our plans and will bring dinner to church and play til dad rolls in…good plan. Well, the traffic is bad it will be after 8pm. Okay, okay we will have our dinner and just play til he comes in and then take him home and go to bed. No problem. AND the bus breaks down so it will be well after 11pm.(uughh) New plan, on my own for dinner, baths, bedtime again and, “Welcome home dad! We are all asleep!”
Awesome!

This is the brutal truth…
This post is not for the faint of heart…
As we were pre-camp send off, Jeff was feeling the stress and I was anticipating the long week ahead with two kids and a teething (non-sleeping) baby. Neither of us were in the best of moods. We got ready for bed and I asked Jeff if he could wake up with the baby in the middle of the night this last time even though he had to leave by 5am to go to camp. He hesitantly agreed and we went to sleep for a little while to be awakened at 1am, he got up, fed the baby and put him back to bed still awake and crabby. Both of us awake and mad I express to him just how mad I am at him for not putting the baby back to sleep. So I get up to go rock the baby and continue to express my unpleasant feelings knowing he can hear me in the monitor, I may have cussed a little. Baby asleep by 3:15am, back to bed with a large thump to startle Jeff awake so he knows what time it is. 3:45am awakened AGAIN by the snoring of my lovely husband! I am so so mad I throw the covers off and hit him in the face with a pillow, accidentally. He sits up, “What happened?” I again express my mad feelings by storming out of the room saying something like, “I hate your guts!” (So mature I know) And I sleep in the big kids room. I wake up at 6:00am to baby crying and husband gone to camp.

What a night! And what a great send off for my husband… See you in a week!

Now, I know how important it is to have Jeff know that I support him even when its hard. Last night was hard. And I obviously didn’t do a very good job showing him that I loved and supported him. Please do not send me advice and scripture about how God tells us not to let the sun set on our anger…. I know that too. I feel awful.

Not a pretty picture and nothing is tied up in a bow. Jeff is at camp and we really won’t be able to resolve anything til he gets back. Such a bummer!

There is a real picture of someone in the “business” for 14 years and still doesn’t have it all together!

I really do super love my husband and love that he gets to pour into the lives of students! I am glad that he gets to go to camp because I know he loves this part of his job the most.

I know we will make it through this week and I know we will resolve everything…

Forgiveness and grace are great.

One more summer event, ladies! I see the finish line ahead. It feels like I have been running a marathon this summer, holding one more kids than last year, its been a long haul. Back to back camps and events that I have not been able to take part in, and a “family” vacation/visit I had to do (mostly) alone this year, it has not been easy. (My biggest excuse for not blogging so much, sorry!)

I seem to always naively look forward to the summer months in May. I think of warm lazy days, sitting by the pool or beach, a simple family picnic with everyone in matching clean clothes quietly eating and singing praises of how clever mom is for organizing such peaceful and meaningful time together.

NOT.

It NEVER seems to pan out that way!

So now that I am approaching the finish line of summer I am looking forward… forward to school starting, forward to crazy weeks that Jeff will be home, forward to Monday spaghetti dinners with the masses, forward to predictable week days, and forward to weekends that are busy but the same. I LOVE a good schedule. I love knowing what the day will bring. I love to plan, and keep the plan!

I know we all have horror stories and amazing stories of how we survived our summers . I don’t want to ignore that fact that as women we need some time to process through that…

But I want to know what you are looking FORWARD to. What’s coming up for you? What do you love most about summer being over, and the new school year ahead?

At a Biblestudy I did a long time ago we did “2 Highs and a Low” each time we met. (I’m sure its not anything you haven’t heard of). It was a little corney, but a great way to start the group and remember great things about our week that are easily forgotten while getting swept away with the daily routine. I thought since summer was in full swing we could share our own “2 Highs and a Low” about how we are all surviving these crazy, busy days.

I’ll go first:
High #1: Jeff and I have made our best effort yet to put some alone time on the calendar, get a babysitter and go out on a date. It has really made me feel better about the time when he is gone.
High#2: My oldest started soccer this summer and I have had the best time going to practices and watching him while I kick the ball around with my daughter on the side lines. It has been really fun!
Low: So many of my friends have been on vacation and not around, so it has felt a little lonely, as much fun as I am having with the kids I do miss the school year routine, and predictability of my days (part of my personality).

You go…

Now, I know money can be a very touchy subject and really a very subjective issue depending on where in the country (or world) you live. And just to get this obvious statement out of the way…NONE OF US ARE DOING THIS FOR THE MONEY (or we are not very smart). I am guessing most of us are in the category of over worked and under paid. But that can look very different at certain churches. A friend that reads this blog recently brought up a really interesting situation… She and her husband serve at a very affluent church and are in the over worked and under paid category. I actually can relate to this being in the same shoes. I am assuming that if compared, their paycheck may be a bit larger than some of ours (not that it matters), but when you are living “with the Jones’” and in a very expensive area to be near the church you are called to serve, how do you survive those crazy the financial waters? It is just a wierd place to be caught up in that kind of mix. We serve at a church that when you pull into the parking lot there will surely be 50 Porshe Sports cars,  and a few Fararri’s  sprinkled in between the Hummers. It’s a pretty fun feeling when the 16 year olds in your ministry drive far and away nicer cars than your 1992 Toyota Corola! It is an interesting struggle to face each week. I know we are grown adults and it is easy to say, “Don’t get caught up in financial matters.” Or, “Where you heart is there your treasure will be…”  All are true. But sometimes I feel more human than spiritual. Sometimes I wish I could shop at the stores that our congregation shop at. (Although, most from our church would never shop at Walmart and don’t even know where it is, they don’t know where I buy my super cute clothes). I do wish we had a nicer car. When a student has to get out of their convertible Audi and crawl into my awesome minivan, I can laugh it off most of the time. Oh, I just am admitting that I get the “I want, I want, I wants”. Its not a great feeling or one I like to linger in, but it does happen. My friend and I can’t be alone can we?

What do some of you do with those feelings?

How do you shop so you don’t feel like a poor church mouse? Hints? Tips? Great deals and steals (don’t really steal).

Practical money advice?