Catch My Breath

By Amanda on Dec 20, 2009 in Featured

As I was logging in to the site and typed in my password the prompt says “remember me” and I thought… maybe they won’t. My lack of voice on this blog has not been out of boredom or lack of passion or love for youth pastor’s wives. I still think of you all and pray often. I have about 30 topics, literally, to journal/post/blog/discuss with you all. My journey with God has been such an interesting one in this season of my life. May be  my kids, may be my age,  may be the mark of where we are in ministry I don’t know. But from the start of it all on our amazing summer vacation up until now I have been really listening to God’s voice probably for the first time in my life. And now feel the freedom and am figuring out the words to talk about it with you all. I haven’t learned anything earth shattering or really anything I didn’t know before, but living with my heart more than just going through the motions.

I have had such an “empty tank” (sorry for the super Christian-y cliche) and didn’t stop to do anything about it. I continued to serve out of an my emptiness and liked it. It actually started to feel normal. But that’s not what God wanted from me or wanted for me I should say. I’m sure we’ve all been through a season like this. If not, get ready for one. So, I’ve felt “benched” for a bit…. but now feel truly ready to get back to the game.

I bet a few of you are going through a season similar right now either with family, or personally, or in ministry, feeling “benched”. It’s a confusing place to be. I know my passion hadn’t changed and I didn’t feel like God was saying “STOP talking to these wives”, just a time-out for a little bit to catch my breath and refocus.

I’m excited to continue to listen and see where God takes this ministry, I think its gonna be good. :)

4 Comment(s)

  1. “I have had such an “empty tank” (sorry for the super Christian-y cliche) and didn’t stop to do anything about it. I continued to serve out of an my emptiness and liked it. It actually started to feel normal”

    This is exactly what I have been feeling!! Thank you stating how you been feeling – it is good to know I haven’t been alone in feeling the same way.

    Praying for you and I to get in the game

    Dawn | Dec 20, 2009 | Reply

  2. I am feeling benched. My husband has been in full time youth ministry since 1992 and I have been serving beside him since 1994. As of July 5, my husband has been an unemployed youth pastor. We are now living, with his parents with our 4 boys.

    We are in a new town in a new state, attending a new church, getting ready to start volunteering still trying to figure out what God is doing with us. It is very weird to go from being apart of church leadership to being the new unknown family.

    One of the pastors in his sermon at church last week said “God is not concerned about your happiness, but with having your heart.”

    So true. It is through these tough things(and they are tough) God conforms us more to his image.

    Thanks for posting.

    Shari | Dec 20, 2009 | Reply

  3. Stage of life…yes. Where we are in ministry as well…yes. So agree with you–God has been taking me out of serving in so many areas right now, to be able to breathe and hear Him. Also, to be able to serve my family has been such a gift. It wasn’t done so well a couple years ago when I was trying to serve in different capacities. So freeing, right? Love growing deeper with Jesus, such a daily process and choice. Thanks for sharing Amanda!

    Diana | Dec 21, 2009 | Reply

  4. I know the feeling well! I have been benched in certain ministry areas as well in these past couple of years. I used to play in worship bands but then I took a break wanting to be more invloved with my husbands youth ministry. Then we had our two boys and I had to really take a step back from youth stuff as well. It was hard to be benched from everything but it was necessary. Now this past week I played with the worship band and a few christmas piano solos at church and will also be doing it Christmas Eve. It was so much fun! I loved being able to get off the “bench” – we will see what God will do next with me… I think being benched is a hard thing to go through but I do believe that God has a good purpose in it and it definetly grows us… also, its good to know that this season does not last forever…

    Angelina | Dec 21, 2009 | Reply

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