Comments on: VBS

By: Katelyn Tarrant

Katelyn Tarrant — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 22:05:54 +0000

Opposite problem …

The church my fiance and i are at does not want my participation… this is breaking my heart, I have been working with youth long before I met my future hubby and this has been a HUGE shock to both of us … most recently i was taken off of a trip at the last minute (2 days before we were scheduled to leave) and the explanation for this has gone from “families are talking about if that would be appropriate or not” to “its church policy “(we checked its not there) … did i mention that we have only been at this new church for 3 months and the YP before my fiance was there for around 11 years and never dated …

any advice… both me and my fiance were deeply hurt by all of this … i was expecting this being married to someone in ministry but it is just soo soon !

By: angelina

angelina — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 03:17:00 +0000

we have our VBS next week and its fun cause a lot of our high school students serve at it. It’s crazy though because this week my husband just left to camp then VBS next week then 2 weeks in Romania on a missions trip. Our 2 boys (20 mon. and 6 wks old) are too young to participate in any of this so i am home missing my husband and praying that the time will go by quickly! Please pray for me I know you all know what it’s like!

By: Diana

Diana — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:41:33 +0000

Love VBS! We don’t have VBS at our church, so we go to one down the street–we’re experiencing it this week as my husband is on his way to India. They are loving the break from the routine of home, and are being loved on, encouraged, and fed all week. My youngest daughter told me the other day “I talked to Jesus and told him I want him to be my friend.” Job accomplished, next steps in their walk with Jesus. Praise the Lord!

I may look into one for next week, too–really helps them not be focused on their daddy being away, too, which is a bonus!

By: Ashley

Ashley — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:19:59 +0000

I’m a newly married Youth Pastor’s wife and I’m thankful to your blog as I need all the advice and guidance I can get…..I’m learning for the first time this summer (my husband lived about an hour away prior to marriage so I didn’t really experience him ministry in full first hand until marriage) the challenges we will face as a couple in youth ministry. Right now, my husband is doing his best to protect me from being engulfed by his church and the ministry as I feel my way and determine where I am passionate to serve and step out of other ministries outside of his church….not so easy though! How do you deal with the implied pressure to jump in with both feet when you’re not quite ready or set to do so (I work full time and my job is extremely challenging during the summer months)? Thanks in advance for your help and advice!

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 23:06:24 +0000

I had the pleasure of participating in VBS this year by leading the kids in the music portion of the day. Singing…dancing around…watching them as the worshiped along with us…it was awesome.

I have also struggled like Mary with feeling like I was doing everything. Talk honestly with hubby about having some help and delegating some responsiblity to someone else. The kids probably would’t mind actually helping. Sometimes all you have to do is ask. Will be praying for you and your ministry!

By: Corrie

Corrie — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 04:58:54 +0000

Amanda- So glad you had a great week. I look forward to the day when I get to have one of those weeks. I used to be very bitter about never being able to just be an attender and always a facilitator. God has been working in my heart about seeing how HE is ministering to me while I am ministering to others.
Mary- I am glad you were able to talk to your husband about how you are feeling. I know I have had to have that conversation with my husband. I was tired of cleaning up the church kitchen and vacuuming after dodge ball while he sat on the sack chairs getting to know everyone. A year later we have found a good balance. When I do take care of things, he makes it a point to say thank you. Or when he sees that things need to get done, he will make sure others help. Just keep on keeping on. The Lord will bless you and your husband. I will be praying that the Lord will put a godly person in your life that God will use to help you through the rough parts.

By: Mary Rodgers

Mary Rodgers — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:59:09 +0000

Thanks ladies for your advice. I have talked to him in fact this weekend i did. He has told me that he is okay with it and for me to just back off he will get it done. I struggle with it though because one I hate to tell him I am tired of doing his job for him in a lot of ways. He take it in stride, but I feel like the bad guy. like I am not serving the Lord enough or something. I think I am just frustrated with taking care of home, finances, and church. Its the summer which means very busy and if I wait for him to do it he does not get it done. Thanks for letting me share here. I really don’t feel like I have any one I can share with. My best friend is one of our best sponsors I shared some with her and it seemed to make her more irritable with him too. He noticed it and the last thing I want to do is mess things up between him and her. So i feel I must be more careful in what I say. Thanks again for being my safe place to share. I know this too shall pass.
Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 23:56:07 +0000

Amanda: How awesome to just participate for once! Amen! It’s even nicer in the summer, I’m sure. Ladies, how about planning times to “just participate” throughout the year? Kind of like a week or two of blackout dates for volunteering? Couldn’t hurt for PWs to build that into our calendar.

Mary, thank you for sharing your struggles. This is a good forum for it! Have you told your husband about the difficulty you have with the distribution of work for youth events? It may be yucky to wade through to a solution, but it will serve you both well in the end. You may need to take a step back, even if it is just to the level of another sponsor/volunteer, and let your hubby manage these details himself. As far as setting up and cleaning up, are there some things you guys could involve the kids in? After many of our events my husband goofs around with the kids, too, but it’s usually while they are picking up trash, putting materials away, etc. I often am left with nothing to put away! And these are middle schoolers- gotta love teaching them to be responsible.

I think every YP and spouse have to decide the level of involvement the
spouse will have, and it will vary from couple to couple. As a general rule, I am just another volunteer, especially if I’m working outside the home. My husband doesn’t do my work for me, so the same applies to his job. If I’m not working, I am happy to do “extra” volunteer work, but my husband does his best to ask me in advance, just as he would the other volunteers. From what I know, he uses this question when determining if something is too much: “would I ask this of another volunteer?” He also read “What Matters Most” by Doug Fields a while back and loved that- very helpful.

Talking to someone else would be a good idea if this is a sensitive subject that is hard for you two to discuss. Maybe talking to another couple on staff at your church, or a member of the church staff who takes care of counseling. Another ministry wife would also be a good person to talk to!

By: Amanda (but not the official one)

Amanda (but not the official one) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:45:53 +0000

Amanda-That sounds amazing for you….
I am struggling because our children’s minister has decided that VBS is not important or valuable to our church so has not done it since arriving here. I on the other hand think VBS is crazy important for the spiritual development of children… I have had a couple of meetings about it with her and someone above her…with no change… so how do I handle that with a good spirit? it’s tough to know when God would have us push and when God would have quiet.

Mary… wow… that sounds like you are in a tough position… I know it is SO difficult to do this in ministry but it sounds like you need a third unbiased party to talk through these things with you and your husband maybe a christian counselor or a respected pastor in a neighboring town…. In my opinion one of the quickest ways to get bitter in ministry as a wife is to never talk to anyone about these type of things (and believe me we all have our things) because we seek to protect our husband, his ministry etc…. Find some wise counsel to talk it out with…

By: Mary Rodgers

Mary Rodgers — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:10:34 +0000

That must be great this time of year. We have been so busy that I once again find myself burning at both ends and asking why. I love our church and I love the ministry, but sometimes I just feel like quitting at least for the day. I have been trying to do some refueling through out the day, but I just can’t get there. I told my husband if I was not doing it for the glory of God I would quit. He does not always seem to get it and the devil has been working over time to make me feel sorry for myself.
Do you ever feel like you are doing your husbands job for him? How do I keep a joyful heart to serve when I am in the kitchen after a long day at my job (RN in a hospital) making sure the youth are feed things are clean and every thing gets brought that is needed and then put away while he sits around playing games with the kids and talking about random things? This is after lesson or before and I know he need to focus on the kids that is his job, but am I asking too much to want him to take responsibility for his job? He does not do any of mine. Last Sat. we took the youth to the lake I was with them all day we worked equally and at the end of the day he was wore out and I still had energy to go. I know people say YP works really hard, but if this is any comparison then it is a walk in the park compared to what I do.
How do I get passed this?? I really really long to do ministry full time, but I have to work to support us. I guess I am just jealous please pray that I work through this and if any one has any advice I would love to hear it.