What to Expect…
I have been thinking a lot lately about expectations. Expectations our children have on us, our spouses, our friends, our churches…. And how, what people expect us to be might not be what we imagine or desire ourselves to be. What do you do when the expectations don’t match up??
I am evaluating some of these expectations in my own life right now, and to be honest, feeling a little overwhelmed. I am starting to wonder where does the me I was created to be fit into all of these things that are already expected from me. (I think its all part of the stretching I talked about earlier). I am thinking that in trying to honor God with my life might mean saying no to some of these things I feel I am expected to do. (Am I talking in circles here?)
I recently read this quote about expectations, “Letting go of expectations is so risky: it feels like a free fall since our world was held together by that web, but it is in that risk that you find a God who does not meet your expectations (thankfully) but loves you and is involved, and that risk is where faith grows.”
I have been thinking a lot about this quote as well. I really really desire to be “a place where faith grows”. So now what? Most days I live by doing what is expected of me. I realize to be a responsible adult [...]

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Something happened to me this evening that happens every so often when I meet people for the first time that go to our church… I play soccer each week with a group of “soccer moms”. It is a random bunch of women and it is so much fun. I started playing because my neighbor invited me and she knows someone from her son’s school who brought someone from a league, who has a sister who plays soccer, etc., etc.. All that to say, they don’t go to our church and I barely know many of them and they could care less who my husband is and what he does for a living. We just have fun playing soccer because we are women who like it.
This isn’t profound by any means, but I know some of you follow this site through Twitter and a few months ago my account was hacked. Its fixed now, and along with it I personally figured out how to twitter. I am soo lame! So if you want to follow me on twitter, you can
Our church had an amazing conference this past weekend and we called it “Lumen”. I am so proud of the church that I serve to have embraced and challenged its people to dialogue about controversial issues and how we, as loving followers of Christ, should always wrestle with these things and respond. Some of the topics included human trafficking, and nuclear weapons, to homosexuality. It was unbelievable, my mind has not thought so long and hard about such things in quite awhile. Most would be quite surprised at what the scholars had to say. I have to tell you that I am changed forever in the way that I think about and process information through my “Christian filter”.
I went to a High School weekend service the other day. I had such a flood of mixed emotions that I didn’t expect. I was really excited to be there with no kids, I was also terrified to be there because I don’t have many relationships with students right now, I don’t know very many volunteers either. I saw so many things I wanted to change and be a part of the change. I wanted to jump right in where I left off 6 years ago, and I know I can’t. When I stepped back to have my own family I really thought by now I would be back in full-force. I can’t imagine leading a small group of girls right now. Just the time alone, and then there are hormones and relationships (boys and girls), and the talking and the talking and the talking! When I was sitting there, just watching it all flash before me I realized….. I’m not ready!
When Jeff leaves for camp or a conference and I stay home with three kids, and glad to be able to do it really. But I can’t help but feel a little jealous that he’s going to sleep through the night, not have to change a diaper, or deal with nap times, tantrums and bottles for a few days.