Anna had such a great question I had to post it. I just know she’s not alone!

Do any of you YM wives out there who are the breadwinner for your family or have the “real job” struggle inwardly with that role?

So it’s not so much the money issue as the whole reversal of the “typical” gender roles.? I want to tread lightly here and not stir up either feminist or traditional ideas. I also want to make known that I love my job.? It’s not a big deal now, it’s more of a scary thought when I think of when we start having kids.? Are there any moms out there that are the breadwinners too?? How do you handle it?? Not so much the logistics or scheduling, but just the personal part of it?? Do you ever struggle with that and just wish you could be a homebody?? Or if you don’t have kids, do you ever get tired of having a “real job” and wish your job could be as fun as your husband’s?

Here’s a comic relief quote that I have jokingly said on occasion:
“My ministry is to make money so my husband can be a minister.”

Just like Troy said to Gabriella, “We’re all in this together!” I would love to hear from you. Any topics you’d like to address, issues you want to talk about, posts you may like to write….

I’m all ears. Send me a message in any of the comment areas and I can get back to you personally. I love hearing from you .

Amanda

I have been thinking a lot about this concept lately; That my cup should always “overflow”. The overflow is the outpouring to others. The full cup is mine and God’s to share.

I so often allow myself to “get empty”, have to refuel again, dump it all out and fill up again, dump out, fill up, etc…

I think I will struggle with this one on how to stay full all of the time. I really want to learn this in my daily life. Think how amazing this would look with our spouses, our kids, ministry and friends. Ahhhhh, to be full of God’s love, grace, mercy and peace all of the time and to have the overflow of that flow onto the rest of my life. (Even the mental picture of this feels good).

That sounds real nice right about now in this crazy season of life.

If you read the title of this post and thought, “I can’t relate to this one.” -Obviously, you don’t have kids. (you should stay tuned, you might have kids one day or know someone who does that you could encourage.)
If you read it and thought, “No Biggie.” -You may have one (or more) amazingly patient and easy-going kid(s). Or may be Superwoman.
If you read it with a tone of exhaustion and confusion… -You are probably in the thick of kids, any age, and being pulled at both ends, trying to juggle family and ministry, and all the other life that happens in between.

No question about it, or doubt. IT IS HARD TO RAISE A FAMILY IN MINISTRY.

When we do our conferences and talks, this topic more than any other seems to be addressed. We spend a big bulk of our time discussing the ups and downs and ins and outs of family and ministry. Its difficult to nail down, so much depends on your own family dynamics (does your husband want or need you around), the church you are at (is it a 2 fer 1), the age of your kids, the number of kids, the behavior of your kids (when you are around with your kids, are you a 3 ring circus coming to town?).

But I ALWAYS LOVE to generate ideas and ways for you and the kids to be invloved in the ministry that are practical and helpful.

This is a question that someone asked in a post:

“How do I get involved with my husband when I have kids?”

For me personally, With the age of my kids (2, 4, 6) it is still too much for me to be at church all of the time and we are totally a 3 ring circus when we end up in the High school services. My son who is 6 feels frustrated seeing dad “play with other kids” and doesn’t like going to events so much anymore. He has felt like that for the past year. It is way more important for me to take care of the needs of my own kids, so I don’t get a lot of “face time” in high school ministry.

I do what I can, when I can. I know a handful of high school girls, because they babysit for me and/or they can come to my house and hang out. I don’t lead them in a small group however. We just hang out. I also am able to host volunteers at my home once a week for an “open invitation” spaghetti night. We just put it back on the calendar after a 6 month break because it became too much for the kiddos and bedtime and school, etc.

I do REALLY miss the time of ministry Jeff and I had before kids. I love serving right along side of him, knowing his every move in the ministry. I loved planning with him and going to camps with him, having my own group of girls to mentor. I do miss “the good ‘ol days”. So now I have to get creative to get involved.

What are your circumstances and ways you are involved??

Sound weird? Serving in ministry for 14 years, married to a youth pastor for 12 years, and getting baptized now.? So here’s the story…

I was baptized when I was 8. I don’t doubt that the childhood decision I made recognizing the need for Christ in my life was real, but I have done a lot of “living” in between 8 and 35. God has revealed himself to me in very real ways, and as an adult have been changed dramatically by his love. I am learning what freedom in Christ looks like and feels like. I have learned (learning still maybe) what owning my faith is. Its about me and God. Just us two. I want to celebrate this journey and I want my church family to celebrate with me. I have felt tugged to be baptized for at least the last 5 years or so. But have always brushed off the feeling being too embarrassed of what people would say about a pastor’s wife just now getting baptized. And even what would the Senior pastor think of me. I shrugged it off each time thinking, I did get baptized technically… that works, the box was checked off.

And because of a handful of amazing people that God has orchestrated in my life from our? church family, I feel strong enough and encouraged to do something that? God is asking me to do. I will respond to His leading, no matter what is said, or thought. I will own my faith.

So next Friday My husband the Pastor will baptize his wife.

GRAND PRIZE = Kim

Runner-UP = Keri D.

2nd Place = Courtney L.

3rd Place = Mollie

So much fun to read your stories! Thanks for sharing them with us for a little giggle
Yeah, for our fun little contest.
Love you guys!!!!

Congratulations!

Tell us who you thought had the funniest story…

I’ll announce the winners tonight.

Good luck, FUNNY stories were told!
Loved it!

As stated previously, November 4 is the cut off.
Tomorrow we vote.

I have finagled prizes!!

GRAND PRIZE = FREE admission to the SYMC this year in Chicago, March 4-7

Runner-UP = 25 bucks to Starbucks

2nd Place = 15 bucks to Starbucks

3rd Place = 10 buck to Starbucks

(Not too shabby, if you ask me.)

Good luck ladies!

Check back here to cast your vote, YOU GUYS will be picking the winners. All day on the 5th write in the “comments” of the person that gave you the best giggles. I will have a VOTE NOW post.

“I LONG for a REAL date night”….

I seem to find this comment or question a lot when I talk to youth pastors wives, or wives in general really.
And I find that most of us are convinced that we are suppose to go on a “date night” once a week. I have come to the conclusion that whoever made the rule of a “once a week” date night DIDN’T have small children, school, church, students, and DID have a plethera of money when they set this standard. Once a week comes around really fast at our house and I feel like a big fat loser if I didn’t make a “date night” with my husband. Don’t get me wrong, I value my marriage and desire to put it in high priority status. But I feel the pressure and it feels unrealistic to go out on a date once a week. I, personally cannot afford it nor could I find and pay for a babysitter that often. So, what to do??
Spending time alone with my husband is super important to me (my love language is time, however spent, I just want to be with the people I love). Even if it’s at bed time and we turn off the TV and talk for twenty minutes just to connect each day. And then every once in a while, and it’s more like once a month, do we pay a babysitter to go out alone the two of us. And this has played out pretty well for our marriage. But I would like to get more creative at home, after we put the kids to bed. (Get your minds outta the gutter girls! I don’t need that kind of help.) Like a simple “date night” at home. More movie nights at home, or fancy dessert time, stuff like that.

Any one have other creative stay-at-home-after-the-kids-are-asleep date ideas?

Or thoughts about “Date Nights”?

I LOVE to laugh!And tonight I totally got the inappropriate giggles thinking about a post from one of you guys (Jessica ) from a year ago! The inappropriate time and place was while Jeff was talking to me very seriously (and sternly) about money issues, you can only imagine. And just as I am sure my 6 year old son does, my mind began to wonder about what I might blog about (hehe). And I started to remember a post when everyone posted something about how they encourage their spouses when ministry gets tough (or something close to that). And it actually was a contest for winning you and your husband free “Simply Youth Ministry Conference” admission, and sweet Jessica wrote about having her mother-in-law babysit and going to buy lingerie at the Wal-Mart, and everything spun out of control and it was a total bust of a night! Anyway, I’m sure its not totally right, but it gave me a great giggle I should go way back in the archives and re-read that one! (She won the contest by the way.)

I should do that again! Have a contest so some of you guys can go to the “Simply Youth Ministry Conference” for free. Ah, I love going to the conference with Jeff and meeting some of you guys! I can’t wait, its March 4-11 in Chicago. I really hope some of you will consider going with your husbands. It really is a lot of fun.

Anyone who has gone before please testify!

As for my great idea, “The Contest”… Let’s? do it! I mean I haven’t asked the SYM guys yet, but sometimes its easier to ask for forgiveness, than permission. So here goes…

The topic:

“The funniest time YOU ever had “inappropriate giggles”.

I’ll give you until November 4th to post your stories, tell your friends to enter too, the more stories the more I can laugh! Then we all can vote on some winners!

And I will see you at the conference!

Love you guys!!