I have been thinking a lot lately about expectations. Expectations our children have on us, our spouses, our friends, our churches…. And how, what people expect us to be might not be what we imagine or desire ourselves to be. What do you do when the expectations don’t match up??
I am evaluating some of these expectations in my own life right now, and to be honest, feeling a little overwhelmed. I am starting to wonder where does the me I was created to be fit into all of these things that are already expected from me.? (I think its all part of the stretching I talked about earlier). I am thinking that in trying to honor God with my life might mean saying no to some of these things I feel I am expected to do. (Am I talking in circles here?)
I recently read this quote about expectations, “Letting go of expectations is so risky: it feels like a free fall since our world was held together by that web, but it is in that risk that you find a God who does not meet your expectations (thankfully) but loves you and is involved, and that risk is where faith grows.”
I have been thinking a lot about this quote as well. I really really desire to be “a place where faith grows”. So now what? Most days I live by doing what is expected of me. I realize to be a responsible adult I have to do lots of expected things. I am expected to get my kid to school on time. Sure. I am expected to care for and love my husband. Can do (and want to do). I am expected to feed my family. Okay. So, to identify some of those expectations that can be “let go”…. Enroll my kids in every activity because I don’t want them to miss out. Take a small group of high school girls even though my family and I will feel drained. Show up to every “pastor’s wives” event. Sign up for MOPS at our church. Host high school students in my home each week. (These are some of the thing I feel expected to do).
In writing this I am understanding that sometimes just because it is expected of me I loose the joy and freedom of wanting to do some things. The expectations limit me and the way I want to serve others.
How would I (we) be different, serve differently, love differently, if we did it out of love and desire rather than expectation??
Help me unpeel this onion…