As I was logging in to the site and typed in my password the prompt says “remember me” and I thought… maybe they won’t. My lack of voice on this blog has not been out of boredom or lack of passion or love for youth pastor’s wives. I still think of you all and pray often. I have about 30 topics, literally, to journal/post/blog/discuss with you all. My journey with God has been such an interesting one in this season of my life. May be? my kids, may be my age,? may be the mark of where we are in ministry I don’t know. But from the start of it all on our amazing summer vacation up until now I have been really listening to God’s voice probably for the first time in my life. And now feel the freedom and am figuring out the words to talk about it with you all. I haven’t learned anything earth shattering or really anything I didn’t know before, but living with my heart more than just going through the motions.

I have had such an “empty tank” (sorry for the super Christian-y cliche) and didn’t stop to do anything about it. I continued to serve out of an my emptiness and liked it. It actually started to feel normal. But that’s not what God wanted from me or wanted for me I should say. I’m sure we’ve all been through a season like this. If not, get ready for one. So, I’ve felt “benched” for a bit…. but now feel truly ready to get back to the game.

I bet a few of you are going through a season similar right now either with family, or personally, or in ministry, feeling “benched”. It’s a confusing place to be. I know my passion hadn’t changed and I didn’t feel like God was saying “STOP talking to these wives”, just a time-out for a little bit to catch my breath and refocus.

I’m excited to continue to listen and see where God takes this ministry, I think its gonna be good.

Oh I LOVED this comment to my last post. I LOVE LOve LovED it!!! I’ve been thinking about it all week and what a new perspective. A refreshing one at that, it totally makes sense!

I don’t believe that God wants to be “first” on our list of priorities. In fact I think that limits Him a little.? He wants to be the center of our everything.? He wants everything we do to filter through Him.

So my new list is:

1. Jeff
2. Kids
3. Ministry
4. Everything Else

Knowing God runs through them all. (I still have to have a list, feels pretty second grade, but I’m learning.)

You guys are so smart!

This has been a very overwhelming season, as I have mentioned in the past many posts… God has been teaching me a ton: rewiring me, breaking old cycles, learning boundaries, and balance, and the art of saying “no”. So stay tuned, I’m gearing up to share a load!
But this post is a reminder for me on how it all breaks down:
1. God
2. Jeff (probably not Jeff for most of you)
3. Kids
4. Ministry
5. All the other stuff
It’s when I am giving too much of myself to “all the other stuff” that makes me feel that anxious and overwhelmed feeling, and then all the other people that ARE the most important get the scraps. Even when I mix up 2. and 3.,? or 4. for 1., it seems good and acceptable. I mean,? all are important but there is a very basic break down that keeps the balance. I think I am going to post that list somewhere (like next to my calendar) so I can see it daily.

A good friend and mentor of mine (Carol Timmons) has been helping me hear God’s voice through my journey of “rewiring”. She is amazing and sent me this great article about doing too much.

Give it a read, its quick and insightful. Click here.

I definitely think its applicable to our lives as well as the students we work with.

My favorite line, “…something’s getting buried. And I think it could be our souls.”

Great stuff to think about.

Something that my head knows but it’s often hard to believe with my heart.

God is good all the time.

Many times I end this statement with a question mark instead of a period.

My kids are sick, God is good all the time?

We can’t make ends meet this month, God is good all the time?

I feel alone, God is good all the time?

I don’t feel supported at our church, God is good all the time?

Whatever the circumstance I know it end with a period.

Can’t wait for the day when I? believe it with all of my heart in all of my circumstances.

(probably not her husband)

Post by Destiny

A month ago my husband challenged our teenagers to raise a certain amount of money for missions in one month.? If they were successful he promised to do whatever they wished with his hair.? Well as of last night my husband now has a bright pink mohawk standing up proudly on his head, which will remain there for the next nine weeks.? In which time we have two conferences and a convention to go to plus about a million other things.? Needless to say I have stocked up on hats and beanies for when we are out together and not around the teens.? Here is my question, What are the craziest things your husbands have done to motivate, challenge, or for no real reason just did because they love the youth?

Corrie asked about Bible studies last night and I would love to hear what you all think.

I (Amanda) have attended bible studies at my church with other women from our congregation as well as a few others with friends that do not go to our church. I do love both. But I have to admit (as a pastor’s wife) I feel like I can be a little more vulnerable and transparent with friends and women that do not go to our church or at least women who know what being a pastor’s wife is like.
What are your feelings? Bible studies at you church only? Does it matter?

Where do you get your soul fed?

I haven’t been feeling “plugged” in to the HS ministry this summer, so to kick off the school year I planned a HS staff appreciation dinner. It was so good to be with the team and their spouses. We really appreciated the wives by showering them with praise and gifts. It was super simple, just a swim party together (no kids). It’s amazing how just a few intentional hours together can make such a difference in connecting. I really love our team. And was reminded that together paid, unpaid, volunteer, spouse (seen or unseen)…we all are pouring into the lives of students and make the team what it is, strong and amazing!

Jeff spoke about our craziness in “Big Church” this weekend. I will have to say he was amazing . Feel free to give it a listen.

Click here to see Jeff talk about how God has been working… (click on the message called “Spoonfuls of Life” the message itself is about 20 minutes if you fast forward through the rest of the service).

So we keep moving right along. As much as I would love to sit in the confusion and the injury of my husband, the kids keep us going like it or not.
My 5 year old started kindergarten today. It was so cute to see him walk up to the line this morning with his huge backpack weighing him down. Last night he giggled himself to sleep, he was so excited for school today.
I am currently watching him sit at the counter and sharpen his pencils. I bought him a pack of 8 pencils and his own pencil sharpener. He is sitting like a little man getting ready to “do his homework”. But really only sharpening over and over again ALL the pencils until they are all little tiny nubs. (He has 2 more to go). It’s all such an ironic sight at the moment. Coming off such a dramatic vacation that God was speaking so clearly to both Jeff and I. I feel as if God is “sharpening” me and yet I am twisted down to a “nub” as well.
I know God is going to take all the shavings and make something a-whole-lot-better. Its kinda painful. And I am noticing it requires more action from me than I think I have the energy for.