Post by Ashley Christian

Let’s talk about “the Senior Pastor’s Wife,”? or any other pastor’s wives at your church.? How are all you doing in your relationships with them?? Do you love them, having nothing but drama, not really know them?

I was so blessed to sit in a Q and A session with two amazing and experienced pastor’s wives, Kay Warren and Kathy Fields.? They talked about the importance of taking care of the staff wives, because if they are taken care of, they are less likely to feel territorial over their husband’s ministry when things get messy.? Unity serves everyone in the church.

So do you have that unity among pastor’s, elder’s, staff, or youth leader’s wives?? What does that look like for you?? I want to start meeting with our Pastor’s and Elder’s wives at our church but I’m not sure what direction to go in.? Certainly we don’t all need another small group, Bible study, or ministry since we are all so involved already.

If it were you, what would YOU want most out of time spent with these significant women’s in your husband’s ministry?? What would bless YOU the most and make you feel taken care of and supported?

Tonight we really experienced some of the perks of working with students. On Mondays I always make a big spaghetti dinner and it is our night to invite anyone from neighbors to students to interns to family and friends to dinner. Sometimes we have 2 people and sometimes 20. Its pretty fun. Tonight it ended up being just a few students. They all ate first (and fast) then they took our 3 kids and played tag in the front yard until it was dark, so for about an hour my husband and I ate alone in peace and quiet and had ourselves a mini date night. It was the best spaghetti dinner ever. Great time with students and great alone time all in one! I loved it

Post by Ann:

So, I know we pretty well covered this last spring, but summer is coming again.? I sat down with my husband last night to look over the next three months.? I cried.? This is our 10th summer.? Shouldn’t I have this down by now?

Today I called one of our favorite babysitters and asked her to set aside a few days in June.? That felt a little better.

Anyone have a few fresh ideas for surviving the May to August insanity?

Because we are wives of a youth pastor and we never disagree…

What if you don’t necessarily agree with the direction your husband is taking the ministry, or if you just don’t see eye to eye with ministry issues (he’s in charge of).
How can you feel this way and still have him feel supported?

What do you, as a WIFE, not as a staff person, not as a volunteer, not as a church attender, but just as a wife (that is still all of those other things)… what do you say or do to encourage your husband when all the chips are down? When the Senior Pastor is breathing down his neck, and the elders are not “behind” him anymore?
I want to fight, I want to take on the church. I want to knock on the Sr. Pastor’s door and tell him “what-for”. I also want to say, “forget it then, let’s pack up and go somewhere else.” (I would not suggest doing either if you want your husband to ever talk to you again.)
But its so hard to not be able to DO anything.

Been there?

The Hard Question
by Laura H.

The high school that most of our students attend just got a shock yesterday. One of the students committed suicide. We have a few students that have attended elementary school through high school with this? student, but none have said they were particularly “close” to this individual. Many students are asking questions, seeking solace, and probably dealing with anger and, maybe even some, guilt.? Our students will now be a shoulder for other students at school to lean on. How are we (in ministry) equipping our students to help others through tragedies like this? Are we? Is their faith real enough, personal enough, strong enough to take the hit but maintain it’s depth? Or is their faith built on cushy sand (or could I even be more bold and specific as to say built on silly youth group games, fun events, & activities) that will wash away when a strong wave hits? Or, are we helping our students to know where to turn to when the tough times/questions hit? In a situation like this… when that best friend turns to a friend and says, “How could God let ‘Mike’ kill himself?” Will they at least be ready to say I don’t know, but stand firm on their faith in the One who loves and created that suicidal teen? Will they eventually be able to share about the hope they have?? Or… will they have spent too much time in youth group playing games that they don’t really know what they believe?

Laura’s post really made me reflect on our HS ministry. When tragedy hits any youth group you really can find its pulse and what’s making it tick..the games, the relationships, the pastors, or the Lord. It can really reveal the “health” of the group. Its always good to keep asking the tough questions even if we are not ready to face the answers sometimes.

A post by Jennifer C.

I have a question for all of you and would love to hear what you married to youth pastor people think.

Do you ever feel like you should not have to be involved in every aspect of church life/ministry just because your spouse happens to be the youth pastor?

Many people support their spouse’s career without having direct involvement with every detail of their job.? I love what we do in ministry and am not burnt-out.? Sometimes I have a hard time saying no.

How do you handle saying no to things without seeming stand-offish or distant?? Do you ever feel guilty because you want to say no to church activities?

Thanks for any feedback you can give me.? God Bless you all!

Thanks for sharing your stories and being so vulnerable.

Amanda

How do you handle tough times when it feels like everyone is watching? From marriage to kids…it can be a hard place to be, when all eyes are on you.
Mindy had a great post…

Hi.
I was curious to know if there are other YM wives that have dealt with the death/illness of a child/infertility while in ministry? This is something that my husband and I have gone through. Due to these situations it has completely changed my involvement with the ministry as well as my whole outlook. These are such difficult situations to go through and yet twofold, going through them in the public eye and still being a good role model.

Mindy

I cannot thank you enough for all of your prayers! Molly came out of surgery with flying colors!!! Everything went perfect. We didn’t even have to stay the night (the closest thing I’ve experienced to a miracle). The surgeon was pretty certain that we that we will not even have to think of the word cancer, praise GOD! So she’s home and sleeping and we are SO THANKFUL!