Comments on: Bible studies….What do you think?

By: Tracy

Tracy — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:53:15 +0000

I was so hungry for women’s interaction I agreed to lead a Bible study in our church. (I am a youth pastor’s wife). After sign-ups, the group was mostly older than me and I dreaded it a little. But it was great! I got to really know some of the older women in church who can be great examples. I am glad I did it. I wound up leading another this fall. I am somewhat guarded, but really trying to be less so. I would love to do another study with friends outside my church to have a basis to compare. Thanks for the site!

By: Nathan

Nathan — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:04:09 +0000

Should we have to go “outside of our church” to be vulnerable and find accountability as pastors’ wives? Is this the kind of life God desires for pastors wives? It is sad that pastor’s wives feel like they have to put on a mask in their own church’s small group. It is the same for the pastor or pastors. It is very sad.

By: Kristi

Kristi — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 16:23:32 +0000

Tiffany, Katelyn I can definitely identify. I feel like there are certain expectations of me & my YP husband. A couple of times I’ve been open & vulnerable to someone at our church, I get a look like, “Wow! I hope you repent of that attitude.” Sooo it makes me not even want to attend our ladies’ Bible study. Also, the women that do attend are much older. So I don’t have much in common with them. I would love to be able to connect with women outside my church, who I can be completely myself with, but that is soooo hard to do when my schedule is completely consumed with being a mommy, several nights a week a “Youth Pastor Widow” since he is gone several nights. Then church Sundays & Wednesdays. So, if I had to choose, I think I’d choose one outside my church.

This blog is such an encouragement to me. Thanks, Amanda!

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 15:15:50 +0000

I am so glad this conversation came up, I also have been struggling with this. There are a few bible studies in our church but neither me or my husband attend them because 1. we have never been invited and 2. they are much older then us. It seems that our church has forgotten about the young adults (20′s to mid-30′s). I have a friend that invited me to join a W.B.S. but I have been hesitant because I am afraid of what people at the church will say. It seems that certain families are very opinionated about things, and I feel as though I am always being watched. I feel like an outcast at the church because I don’t fit a certain pastor’s wife mold they have.

Sorry that I just totally vented right there, I just never feel comfortable enough to talk to anyone about it because not too many people would understand.

By: Gloria

Gloria — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 21:32:23 +0000

I’m a part of the women’s bible study in our church and I have to say that it’s been amazing. My husband is the YP and the Pastor’s wife does not attend this study. I’m a little grateful for that bc I feel like this group of ladies are all mine. I don’t have to feel like if I share something that she’ll look down on me for what I say or think that I’m sharing too much. The group of ladies have always been such a great support even when I’m at my worst (which just happened to be last week). It’s so interesting to hear everyone’s experiences with their ministries! Everyone has different relationships with their church and there’s no set rules for any of us. Sometimes I wish there were so that I know exactly how I’m supposed to be.

By: Amanda (but not the official one)

Amanda (but not the official one) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:15:24 +0000

I was blessed to be invited into a BSF Bible Study a couple of years ago. Although I can’t say I feel like I can be 100% open… (10 ministry years will condition you to be a little cautious) I kind of keep my group (who none of attend my church) from knowing my husband’s a youth pastor, (If I can avoid it.) Otherwise it ends up being you who they turn to for the final answer of any question… or I don’t know just more pressure.

I really enjoy the anonymity of being in a large group of women, having myself no responsibilities, and just being Amanda instead of my husband’s wife.

By: Angelina

Angelina — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 03:26:43 +0000

With 2 young kids and a part time job I barely have the ability to show up to youth bible study and I’m now starting to realize that is getting way to hard. In the past i attended the womens bible study at our church and have been part of a few small groups. I agree the small group with close friends is best being vulnerable. Right now I get my soul fed by listening to different pastors online and i feel that God is really teaching me great stuff through that.

By: Mrs. H

Mrs. H — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 02:28:04 +0000

Funny that this topic has come up… I just started a small group/women’s Bible study group at another church this week (there is a connection, though, as the pastor’s family used to attend our church while the hubby was in seminary). I’m anxious to see how different the dynamics will be… if I will feel less “on guard” and more open. I have done studies in the past at my church and have felt open enough to discuss issues about parenting/my child and other personal trials we have been through, but have definitely thought through what I shared before opening my mouth

By: Katelyn

Katelyn — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:37:34 +0000

I am currently dealing with this issue…. I havent been asked but there is this expectation that i attend the weekly womens bible study at our church. My husband has to go to the mens one, but I just do not feel comfortable with the women in the group…also the pastors wife is the one teaching it , and it makes me nervous to share some things with her in fear that she may repeat them back to her husband and he would say something to my Husband or act differently bc of it. We are new to the church so i havent made a ton of connections with the people here, im also new to being a wife and a YP wife so i admit my guard is still up a bit high… good post , and good food for thought!

By: Sarah Hulme

Sarah Hulme — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 22:48:35 +0000

Wow Hosanna, I so completely related to what you said!