Comments on: Oh, here it comes…. http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/youth-ministry/oh-here-it-comes.html Youth pastor's and ministers wives community and resources. Wed, 01 Feb 2012 22:07:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.4 By: Ann http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/youth-ministry/oh-here-it-comes.html#comment-1395 Ann Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:46:27 +0000 http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/?p=260#comment-1395 I realize that many of you are still in the thick of summer, so please forgive me. I would like to let out a public sigh of relief. Here in the mountains, school starts back in a week and a half. Summer is over!!! We survived regular camp, a grad trip, and an international mission trip. My husband shuts things down the two weeks before school starts. Most of the students are out of town anyway. We take some family time and then my husband has some office time to iron out the details for the fall. Yeah!! The end of summer. The fall will bring with it its own set of challenges, but at least they are local challenges. For those of you still in the trenches of summer youth ministry, I am praying for you. I realize that many of you are still in the thick of summer, so please forgive me.

I would like to let out a public sigh of relief. Here in the mountains, school starts back in a week and a half. Summer is over!!! We survived regular camp, a grad trip, and an international mission trip. My husband shuts things down the two weeks before school starts. Most of the students are out of town anyway. We take some family time and then my husband has some office time to iron out the details for the fall. Yeah!! The end of summer. The fall will bring with it its own set of challenges, but at least they are local challenges.

For those of you still in the trenches of summer youth ministry, I am praying for you.

]]> By: Brandi http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/youth-ministry/oh-here-it-comes.html#comment-1390 Brandi Tue, 21 Jul 2009 01:44:52 +0000 http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/?p=260#comment-1390 This is my first summer married to a youth minister. We dated for seven years and got married on Sept. 13, 2008. Even though I knew the trips where coming up, I never understood the fact that he would be gone half of the summer. I guess it is going to take some getting used to because every summer will be like this. This summer while he was gone I went and stayed with my parents again, which they don't mind at all :) This is my first summer married to a youth minister. We dated for seven years and got married on Sept. 13, 2008. Even though I knew the trips where coming up, I never understood the fact that he would be gone half of the summer. I guess it is going to take some getting used to because every summer will be like this. This summer while he was gone I went and stayed with my parents again, which they don’t mind at all :)

]]> By: Mollie http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/youth-ministry/oh-here-it-comes.html#comment-1282 Mollie Fri, 15 May 2009 21:25:36 +0000 http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/?p=260#comment-1282 Oh, Tina. I hurt for you. You absolutely need to chat with your husband about this. You, as his wife, are more important than any job. I really think that men are programmed to work. It makes them feel as though they serve a purpose, and it gives them a sense of providing. However, sometimes they get so wrapped up in that, they forget about life around them. Please, please go get coffee or ice cream and share your thoughts with him. Romance is intentional, so it doesn't have to be gone "already." I know that every married woman who reads your post is crushed to see your pain. And most have been there! So, know that you are loved and you are being lifted up to our Father!! Oh, Tina. I hurt for you. You absolutely need to chat with your husband about this. You, as his wife, are more important than any job. I really think that men are programmed to work. It makes them feel as though they serve a purpose, and it gives them a sense of providing. However, sometimes they get so wrapped up in that, they forget about life around them. Please, please go get coffee or ice cream and share your thoughts with him. Romance is intentional, so it doesn’t have to be gone “already.” I know that every married woman who reads your post is crushed to see your pain. And most have been there! So, know that you are loved and you are being lifted up to our Father!!

]]> By: Lori http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/youth-ministry/oh-here-it-comes.html#comment-1271 Lori Thu, 14 May 2009 04:31:53 +0000 http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/?p=260#comment-1271 I guess my question in all this would be, what purpose does each event serve this summer? Sometimes events originally were designed with an intended purpose in mind but didn't pan out the way we expected and now just need to be dropped. Example: my husband recognized the difficult transition for 8th graders coming into high school group. So he designed events during the summer just for incoming freshmen that still included some of their junior high youth staff but transitioned them into getting to know high school staff. Great idea in theory. Did it for 2 summers. Never really saw the intended results. This summer he dropped it. Praise the Lord! My husband would be much more effective using that time to actually "minister" as has been said in a previous posts, to students who are hurting. Yes, he's a great event planner but God has gifted him as a counselor more than anything else. I'm excited for him to be able to use his gifts one-on-one at a Starbucks rather than one-on-75 in the church park. Just a thought to consider. I guess my question in all this would be, what purpose does each event serve this summer? Sometimes events originally were designed with an intended purpose in mind but didn’t pan out the way we expected and now just need to be dropped. Example: my husband recognized the difficult transition for 8th graders coming into high school group. So he designed events during the summer just for incoming freshmen that still included some of their junior high youth staff but transitioned them into getting to know high school staff. Great idea in theory. Did it for 2 summers. Never really saw the intended results. This summer he dropped it. Praise the Lord! My husband would be much more effective using that time to actually “minister” as has been said in a previous posts, to students who are hurting. Yes, he’s a great event planner but God has gifted him as a counselor more than anything else. I’m excited for him to be able to use his gifts one-on-one at a Starbucks rather than one-on-75 in the church park. Just a thought to consider.

]]> By: Megan http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/youth-ministry/oh-here-it-comes.html#comment-1267 Megan Wed, 13 May 2009 23:41:34 +0000 http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/?p=260#comment-1267 The thing that makes me the saddest about this summer is all of the weeks I will be spending alone. I don't get vacation time, so when I take time off, we are just out that money. I've taken vacation for various youth group trips the last couple of summer, but I refuse to take another week off for ministry this summer. Plus, we are just not in a position financially that we can afford to miss too many weeks of my pay. I want a real vacation (even if all we do is stay at home) with my husband without sharing him with others. So all the trips and camps he will be attending will leave me at home alone. It's usually pretty lonely as I do not have many friends in the area. I know how much he enjoys what he does so I try so hard to keep that in mind. He will even be gone on our anniversary this year to a leadership conference in Colorado. I knew how excited he was about it so I gave my blessing despite my feelings. I will say though that our youth ministry takes the month of August off and so that gives me something to look forward to. My husband still works, but he is nowhere near as busy. It also gives our volunteers and their families times to breathe as well. We just started it last summer and it was really good for everyone. The thing that makes me the saddest about this summer is all of the weeks I will be spending alone. I don’t get vacation time, so when I take time off, we are just out that money. I’ve taken vacation for various youth group trips the last couple of summer, but I refuse to take another week off for ministry this summer. Plus, we are just not in a position financially that we can afford to miss too many weeks of my pay. I want a real vacation (even if all we do is stay at home) with my husband without sharing him with others. So all the trips and camps he will be attending will leave me at home alone. It’s usually pretty lonely as I do not have many friends in the area. I know how much he enjoys what he does so I try so hard to keep that in mind. He will even be gone on our anniversary this year to a leadership conference in Colorado. I knew how excited he was about it so I gave my blessing despite my feelings. I will say though that our youth ministry takes the month of August off and so that gives me something to look forward to. My husband still works, but he is nowhere near as busy. It also gives our volunteers and their families times to breathe as well. We just started it last summer and it was really good for everyone.

]]> By: Anon http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/youth-ministry/oh-here-it-comes.html#comment-1264 Anon Tue, 12 May 2009 19:55:36 +0000 http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/?p=260#comment-1264 I thought I was ready for summer, but I'm not. It just hit me, to the point of tears, in the shower yesterday. There is just too much going on and so much coordination to do. In addition to youth ministry, my husband also runs the children's ministry at our church. And, there are never enough volunteers to go around. How do you guys work it out when you're praying for the Lord of the harvest to send workers, but there are no workers appearing? Or when you pray for peace and more stress appears? Or you pray for guidance and direction and get silence? Or pray for your husband to find santity and only get more chaos? I thought I was ready for summer, but I’m not. It just hit me, to the point of tears, in the shower yesterday. There is just too much going on and so much coordination to do. In addition to youth ministry, my husband also runs the children’s ministry at our church. And, there are never enough volunteers to go around. How do you guys work it out when you’re praying for the Lord of the harvest to send workers, but there are no workers appearing? Or when you pray for peace and more stress appears? Or you pray for guidance and direction and get silence? Or pray for your husband to find santity and only get more chaos?

]]> By: Amanda Maguire http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/youth-ministry/oh-here-it-comes.html#comment-1263 Amanda Maguire Tue, 12 May 2009 05:37:45 +0000 http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/?p=260#comment-1263 Tina, My heart breaks for you! We have all hit bumps in the road on this crazy journey, not just in Youth ministry, but in just plain ol' marriage. Both are hard enough alone, but put them together and it truly is exhausting! Communication is the only way to work through this. You should NEVER feel as though you are competing for his attention. You are his wife and you come before his job. His job is NOT God and that is the only person that should come before you. It is a messy distinction sometimes for the guys to figure out. If he's only been doing this for 3 years he is still figuring stuff out. But there certainly is a burn out point for both of you. Sounds like you have hit yours. I have found that coming to my husband calmly, with thought out words, and no tears is the best way for him to really hear what I am saying and feeling and for him to take me the most seriously. So we both don't get so caught up in the crazy "emotions". Your feelings are real and he needs to hear them. You are not alone. We have all been there! Much Love, Amanda Tina,
My heart breaks for you! We have all hit bumps in the road on this crazy journey, not just in Youth ministry, but in just plain ol’ marriage. Both are hard enough alone, but put them together and it truly is exhausting! Communication is the only way to work through this. You should NEVER feel as though you are competing for his attention. You are his wife and you come before his job. His job is NOT God and that is the only person that should come before you. It is a messy distinction sometimes for the guys to figure out. If he’s only been doing this for 3 years he is still figuring stuff out. But there certainly is a burn out point for both of you. Sounds like you have hit yours. I have found that coming to my husband calmly, with thought out words, and no tears is the best way for him to really hear what I am saying and feeling and for him to take me the most seriously. So we both don’t get so caught up in the crazy “emotions”. Your feelings are real and he needs to hear them. You are not alone. We have all been there!
Much Love,
Amanda

]]> By: Tina http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/youth-ministry/oh-here-it-comes.html#comment-1261 Tina Tue, 12 May 2009 04:55:11 +0000 http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/?p=260#comment-1261 I have only been a youth pastors wife for 3 years- our entire marriage. Hardest three years of my life. I feel tired. My husband is more like my roommate. Should romance be gone this soon? I feel like I have to compete to get his attention. I get the worst of him at the end of the day. Any time I suggest that I am hurting, it is brushed aside as being “emotional”. But I am sure if I was between the ages of 13-18 he would be interested in what I was feeling. I don’t really want this anymore. I have only been a youth pastors wife for 3 years- our entire marriage. Hardest three years of my life. I feel tired. My husband is more like my roommate. Should romance be gone this soon? I feel like I have to compete to get his attention. I get the worst of him at the end of the day. Any time I suggest that I am hurting, it is brushed aside as being “emotional”. But I am sure if I was between the ages of 13-18 he would be interested in what I was feeling. I don’t really want this anymore.

]]> By: Crystal http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/youth-ministry/oh-here-it-comes.html#comment-1259 Crystal Fri, 08 May 2009 16:23:50 +0000 http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/?p=260#comment-1259 I am a complete newbie to being a YP wife. Actually I am not one yet :) I started dating my husband when he was working as a YP and he decided that he didn't want to start our marriage by being too overwhelmed in ministry to invest in US, so he got a regular job and stepped down from full time ministry for a year. Our first 6 months of marriage have been amazing! Long evenings together, weekends spent doing stuff together, planning road trips, holidays with family (instead of at church or alone). We took this time out of full time ministry to build a solid foundation for our marriage but now we are aching to get back into ministry and (Lord willing) hope to be in a church by the fall. Which means this is our last "free" summer and that is bittersweet. I'm already missing him and feeling lonely thinking of how crazy being back in ministry will make our lives. But I am also excited to see him working again where he has been called and gifted to serve. I've been reading this blog ever since I noticed my now-husband. Trying to figure out the life of a YP's wife...I guess I'll soon find out! It has encouraged me to find a place where I can 'listen in' on conversations from godly women who are there :) I am a complete newbie to being a YP wife. Actually I am not one yet :) I started dating my husband when he was working as a YP and he decided that he didn’t want to start our marriage by being too overwhelmed in ministry to invest in US, so he got a regular job and stepped down from full time ministry for a year. Our first 6 months of marriage have been amazing! Long evenings together, weekends spent doing stuff together, planning road trips, holidays with family (instead of at church or alone). We took this time out of full time ministry to build a solid foundation for our marriage but now we are aching to get back into ministry and (Lord willing) hope to be in a church by the fall. Which means this is our last “free” summer and that is bittersweet.
I’m already missing him and feeling lonely thinking of how crazy being back in ministry will make our lives. But I am also excited to see him working again where he has been called and gifted to serve.
I’ve been reading this blog ever since I noticed my now-husband. Trying to figure out the life of a YP’s wife…I guess I’ll soon find out! It has encouraged me to find a place where I can ‘listen in’ on conversations from godly women who are there :)

]]> By: Heather http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/youth-ministry/oh-here-it-comes.html#comment-1258 Heather Fri, 08 May 2009 07:43:26 +0000 http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/?p=260#comment-1258 I'm just wondering how much your groups have planned for the summer? We have a pretty packed summer too but it does not bring me anywhere close to tears of sadness. I greatly look forward for the summer as it is a time to connect and get to know the students. Maybe some prioritizing and delegating needs to be done! I’m just wondering how much your groups have planned for the summer? We have a pretty packed summer too but it does not bring me anywhere close to tears of sadness. I greatly look forward for the summer as it is a time to connect and get to know the students. Maybe some prioritizing and delegating needs to be done!

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