What happens when the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree??

Amanda on March 15th, 2009

 

 

post from Hosanna

I’d love to know if there are women out there whose youth pastor husbands serve in a church where the senior pastor is either person’s parent. We deal with a whole slew of criticism ranging from my husband being shown favoritism to people stirring up conversations about whether or not my husband is called and/or qualified for this job or if he just has it because of his father. 

 

It’s discouraging because lately, I feel like I don’t know who our friends are. We’ve been burned in the past few weeks finding out that people we thought we were close to are those who turn around and “murmer discontentedly” to others. 

 

We truly feel like this is where we’re supposed to be and I think my husband is a fantastic youth pastor (and not just because I’m his wife!) but some days, it’s hard to remember that because of someone saying that we’re just here “because of his dad”. 

 

Anyone been here before? I’d love to hear from you.

Discuss (5)

Karin at 5:59am March 16

I am not in that family position but with the burnout – there is a new book by Anne Jackson called “The Mad Church Disease – the burnout epidemic” Thought you might want to pick it up. I read it – easy read but good.

Jennifer at 3:25pm March 18

Our situation is not quite the same but it reminds me of me. My husbands first job in the youth ministry was in the church where we both grew up. Things were ok at first but we never really lives down the image of still being “one of the kids”.
I can relate to all the discontented murmuring which is the worst part. It hurts, especially from people who you once counted as friends. We knew our place was in the ministry but God made it clear it was not to be there.
It was hard to move on but when we did God blessed our faithfulness and obedience with a time of healing, rest and a new ministry with some wonderful believers at another church.
If you feel God is leading you to stay, then stay. Anything else would not be faithful to your calling. God will honor and bless you even in the midst of the hurt.
Stay in the Word everyday and pray about everything. I would also recommend the book The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. It was given to us by the pastor of the church we went to after we left our “home” church.
Focus on the good in your ministry and let God deal with the bad. He makes everything beautiful in HIS time. Eventually (12 years of successful ministry elsewhere), we got a heart felt apology from our former pastor for the way we were treated while we were in ministry at his church.
Keep serving…it’s always worth it!