Comments on: What’s “normal” anyways?…

By: Go Wifey (johngruber 2.0)

Go Wifey (johngruber 2.0) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 06:16:16 +0000

[...] What’s “normal” anyways? [...]

By: Amanda (but not the official one)

Amanda (but not the official one) — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 23:51:35 +0000

Kelli- I can relate to your comments about not picking the church if it was your “choice.” Another observation, I think that has been one of the more interesting discoveries of this YPW life is how “without a pastor” I often feel. Of course, your husband shepherds the home to a point but inside the church it is difficult to ever view your husband’s “boss” as your “pastor.” Is that just my experience?

By: Krista

Krista — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:34:09 +0000

I have been blessed to have my huband pastoring at the church that both of us grew up in. I am now realising just how much of a blessing this is, with long time friends and a ‘church style’ that I accustomed to. I have thought though recently, what would happen if we did feel called to leave??! This actually makes me panic (even though it has yet to happen) because this is the only church I have ever known.
A church is a life-style. That’s what I have found. Friends, small groups, support, prayer, fellowship – its all apart of the lifestyle. I guess really, that you will get out as much as you put in. Keep connected to your old friends from your church before, but do not be hesitant to establish a lifestyle here at the new church. Obviously – I have no experience and I don’t think that i could possibly take my own words as advice if I ever got ‘uprooted’ but – I do know that something about having a connection – and what a joy that is!

By: Kelli

Kelli — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 05:04:05 +0000

I can relate. If I got to “choose” where I attend church, I would not choose our current church. Nothing “bad”, just not everything I would hope for. We have been at our church several years; people are nice, but we have yet to form any real friendships. I don’t know if it’s “us” or “them.” We are starving for a sense of community and friendship.

By: Laura

Laura — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:01:09 +0000

I also just stumbled upon this site, and I am so happy that other women can sympathize with the joys (and sometimes pains) of being the wife of a YP. My husband just began at a new church, which causes him to work really long hours. It is definitely difficult, especially because we left our best friends at our old church. I don’t really like the new church or their style of worship…has this ever happened to any of you all? I am having a lot of trouble motivating myself to get involved or connected. I know I need to though. I know this is a little off topic, but it is definitely something that comes along with the territory that would never happen in a non-church setting!

By: Angelina

Angelina — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 04:01:12 +0000

Thanks Jessica! This really helps since this weekend my husband is gone on a youth missions trip in LA. My sister will come over tomorrow so it definetly makes it more fun and I have recorded a bunch of girly shows that my husband refuses to watch so I guess I am on the right track already! I think it does get easier with time in accepting the new role. I do love my son so much- he is adorable and I am happy I get to spend some great time with him this weekend. It just helps to know that someone else knows what it’s like!

By: Jessica Sheets

Jessica Sheets — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 18:09:06 +0000

I’m not the expert on this yet, Angelina, but it really helped me last year to go visit my family while my husband was gone at camp. I knew I couldn’t go to camp with my toddler, but I also knew I’d go nuts being home alone. My mom actually came and picked me up (in WI, they live in IN) and then my husband came back and got us since we only had one vehicle. I needed my family more than I knew. Now, this can’t happen all the time, but maybe you can get a friend or fam member to come visit you while your hubby is away. Or plan some great projects that you would only do without him (like getting every possible chick flick from the library that you’ve missed since having a baby, or scrapbooking and leaving the stuff out all week or baking a bunch of stuff to freeze knowing you don’t have to stop to make a real meal for you and your child). I’m learning this from others who have gone before me. Hang in there. I understand the ‘left out’ feeling, though the tiredness usually reminds me that it is good that I’m not as involved. Our kids are only little now–someday they’ll be on those trips, too and we just might miss the time we had to stay home to take care of them. I’m convinced that when I get to the age where I’m missing being needed that I’m going to reach out to a younger mom and help her out, whether it’s making her a meal or offering free babysitting to give her a break. If that’s what I’m supposed to learn from all of this, then I’m getting it loud and clear.

By: angelina

angelina — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 04:06:53 +0000

It is good to hear your girls stories! Good to know i am not alone in this. We can totally relate- my husband works hard in youth ministry and I work part time as a piano teacher. We have a 1 year old and we just found out we are pregnant again so i completely understand the lack of motivation- I am always tired! I try so hard to still be involved with the girls in the youth group (I still lead a small group)- I have poured my heart out to them in the last few years and it’s so hard for me to back away just cause we have kids and I have to work because its too expensive to live here- but it’s exhausting and not always possible to do the youth stuff. The worst is when my husband leaves on a trip- I hate being left behind! Pray for my heart in this I want my husband to be encouraged as he goes on a trip instead of me being sad/ angry/ complaining that he is gone. That’s not so encouraging. How do you girls deal with your husbands going on youth trips? how do you get to a point of not feeling left out but be a supportive role at home? I love having our son and am so excited for our next one- i just have a hard time sacrificing the youth stuff.

By: Dianna Wissinger

Dianna Wissinger — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:53:50 +0000

Jessica that is a wonderful verse! We could all use that one! I will pray for you to have both, a friend inside the church and one from without. I know I rely on both kinds myself. There are those times each type of friend fills a vital role. Hang in there.

By: Jessica Sheets

Jessica Sheets — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:52:34 +0000

Thanks, Dianna and Krista! I think I needed permission to be where I am. I went outside with my two year old yesterday, knowing we both needed it. I do need a friend. That’s a whole other deal of stress though. Pray that maybe they don’t go to my church, will you? I think that would help the most!
This verse just popped into my head. I need it and maybe someone else does, too.

Isaiah 40:31 (I think I learned this KJV when I was a kid so excuse an occasional NIV insert)
“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”