We Interrupt This Cycle...

This quote stirs up something within me. (Honestly, this whole book is wrecking me in a great way.)

A few years ago, upon realizing I'd spent very little time engaging with people--and stories about or images of people--who do not look like, think like, or believe like--and feeling the weight of importance in this practice--I began to intentionally seek out ways to do this.

As I read Dr. Tatum's book this weekend, I started thinking about some of the standout pieces (eye-opening, heart-breaking, mind-shifting) and thought it might make for an interesting series of posts.

So, over the next few months, I'll do my best to share books, movies, tv shows, podcasts, blogs, Instagram profiles, etc that have helped reshape my worldview, breakdown some of my learned stereotypes, and expand my understanding of God's heart for all people. 

I'd also love to hear about anything you've encountered that's helped open your eyes to the experience of someone who doesn't look, think, or believe like you.


Here's a longer excerpt from the chapter Defining Racism in case you're interested:

[...] Most of the early information we receive about "others"--people racially, religiously, or socioeconomically different from ourselves--does not come as the result of firsthand experience. The secondhand information we do receive has often been distorted, shaped by cultural stereotypes, and left incomplete. 

Each of us needs to look at our own behavior. Am I perpetuating and reinforcing the negative messages so pervasive in our culture, or am I seeking to challenge them? If I have not been exposed to positive images of marginalized groups, am I seeking them out, expanding my own knowledge base for myself and my children? Am I acknowledging and examining my own prejudices, my own rigid categorizations of others, thereby minimizing the adverse impact they might have on my interactions with those I have categorized? Unless we engage in these and other conscious acts of reflection and reeducation, we easily repeat the process. We teach what we were taught. The unexamined prejudices of the parents are passed on to the children. It is not our fault, but it is our responsibility to interrupt this cycle.

Top 5 Thursday: Everyday Things My Years In Youth Ministry Have Prepared Me For

My Years In Youth Ministry Have Prepared Me To:

1. Carry a full trunk's worth of stuff into the house in one load.

2. Hold my face expression-less when someone says something inappropriate, offensive, or exclusionary... or farts in public.

3. Place an order for pizza or bbq for someone who 'doesn't eat cheese and meat'.

4. Feign interest in--including asking questions about--a topic I have little-to-no interest in. (Special shoutout to the 7th-grade boy who is wildly over-invested in his Pokémon collection and thinks I should be, too.)

5. Be prepared for any situation. Honestly. I have, in my purse, at all times: a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash, dental floss, feminine hygiene products, a small sewing kit, band-aids, lotion, baby powder, kleenex, tylenol, assorted snacks, mints, gum, three kinds of chapstick, two pairs of headphones (and adaptors... duh), bobby pins, safety pins, a deck of cards, a Visa gift card, pens, sharpies (assorted sizes), and Kenyan shillings (just in case.) Aaaand, most of the time, a big bottle of water and a book. 

Alli Had a Library Card...

 ... and little to no self-control.

I had three books checked out last week--two I'd been slogging through and one I hadn't started--when I received an email notification from the library that I had two others ready for pick-up.

I traded out the two I was having trouble with for the two new books. 

Then received two more emails, two days in a row, notifying me of additional books ready for pick-up. 

Then another the next day.

And one more the day after that.

So, here we are.

I suppose you could say I'm completely unaware of my own reading pace and/or amounts of free time.

I know I have another notification coming today for Book 2... 

If you need me, you know where to find me.


Books pictured above from top to bottom:
Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?
The Book of Lost Friends
A Woman of No Importance
The Color of Compromise
Such a Fun Age
March: Book 1

37 Miles In A Canoe: Our Trip On The Buffalo River

It has been a deep desire of Josh's heart to 'float the river' together. He's talked about it for as long as I can remember. He's told me stories of his previous trips and shared about how the time on the water slows his heart and allows him to more deeply connect with God. 

At the start of the year, as we carefully looked at and strategically planned our vacation days, we'd put a River Trip on the calendar for Labor Day weekend. 

However, we'd also put a Disneyland trip, weekend in Chicago, Southern road trip, CA visit, and a few youth ministry events on the calendar as well and all of those were either canceled or postponed due to COVID, so we were holding these plans loosely as the date approached.

About 6 weeks out, as Texas began to reopen, we started to make plans only to find out the Outfitter was closed.

We tried again 4 weeks out and found out the river would reopen ten days before we were planning to go. So, we set a reminder for first-thing that morning and called to book our gear.

Then, we set to work prepping and planning all the rest of the details.

Sidenote: I grew up in a non-camping family. My dad had spent the majority of his childhood being hauled to and from campsites in the back of a station wagon, so he was all done camping when it came time to take his kids on trips. I am not complaining one bit... we went on some amazing family vacations thanks to his hatred of camping. This did, however, put me at a slight disadvantage when it came time to plan and execute a camping trip of my own. True to form, I asked Josh one million questions to gather the information I needed to make sure we had all the stuff we need and make sure I was mentally prepared for the weekend.

Fortunately, my husband had a big tub of camping supplies (freshly organized, thank you shelter-in-place!) which held nearly everything we needed. Just one trip to Academy, a few Amazon deliveries, several runs to Target, and a stop at HEB, and we were packed and ready to go! 

Of course, we drove into a huge rainstorm on our way out of town, so we were both soaked for the first leg of our drive. (Me from running into Starbucks, him from loading ice into the cooler.) It didn't rob us of our excitement for what lay ahead!

We left Thursday morning, but we weren't due at the Outfitter until Friday afternoon, so we enjoyed a leisurely drive while listening to The Splendid and the Vile.

Our first destination was this historical marker. The only International Boundary in the continental U.S. marking the border between the Republic of Texas and the United States.

Josh's family has a long-standing tradition of stopping at historical markers. They've talked about making the trip to see this one, but he's the first to actually get there. Needless to say, he was very excited to take this photo:

We hopped back in the car and made our way toward the Arkansas border. Our original plan was to stop and car camp at Hot Springs National Park, but how good did a nice hot dinner sound?! And what if we stayed at a hotel instead and had a really good night's sleep before three nights of camping? So, I hopped on Hotels.com and picked out a room at The Waters {built in 1913!} The floors felt very Batteries Not Included

While we don't have any photos from the night (post-12 hours in a car plus McDonalds), I can assure you, this was an excellent decision on our part. (Plus, thanks to a gift from Josh's parents, didn't hurt our budget one bit!) If you ever find yourself in Hot Springs, Arkansas, I'd highly recommend staying at The Waters. While you're there, treat yourself to a hot pretzel and gyro (and, if you're so inclined, a beer) at Superior Bathhouse Brewery. We nearly stopped in Hot Springs again on the way home just to have this meal a second time. Holy moly, it was good.

The following morning, grateful for a good night's sleep and a full belly, we headed to the river. Around lunchtime, we arrived at Wild Bill's Outfitters. After changing into our swimsuits in their bathroom (already an adventure!), making quick PB&Js in the back of the car, and hauling what would turn out to be far too much stuff down the hill to our canoe, we set sail. (Does that term apply if the vessel you're on does not actually have a sail?)

Our entire trip was meant to be about 31 miles. We'd planned for 10 miles a day for each of the 3 days--maybe a bit more on day 2 so we could finish a little earlier on day 3. 

We'd been paddling for a few hours when Josh decided it was time to stop and set up camp. We were a bit shy of the 10 miles since we'd gotten a late start, but we'd make that up the following day. Plus, setting up camp now would ensure we had a fire started before the sunset.

While Josh unloaded the canoe, I set to work finding firewood. I was lucky enough to find two massive tree branches already on the ground (a gift since you're only allowed to use already downed trees.) However, we hadn't taken into account the full effects of the previous week's hurricane. The good news: the river had risen in height, so the current was stronger and it would carry us along faster. The bad news: all of the wood was soaked through and nearly impossible to ignite.

So, while Josh worked his butt off trying to build us a campfire, I set up the tent, pulled out the ingredients for dinner, and tried to think through what we'd brought to eat if the fire turned out to be an impossibility.

He was not giving up that easily. He finally got it going and cooked up some delicious tacos.

We fell asleep to the sound of cicadas and the rustling of trees... with not a single human in sight. At one point, I felt myself start to panic a bit because we were so alone, it began to feel a little like LOST. I kept having to remind myself that this was what we'd been hoping for! (It should also be noted that the ground was swarming with spiders--my mistake Harvestmen. They looked like this: over-sized red-bodied daddy long legs. While they didn't appear dangerous, there were many of them.)

The following morning, we made some coffee on a camping stove (far easier than trying to start another fire) and packed up for another day on the water.

 (Check out my massive pile of unusable campfire wood on the right.)

Sleepy faces, ready to get going.

Huge heart eyes for my bearded navigator. 

We knew Day Two would be longer, so we started earlier. The hope was to get about 15 miles to make up for falling shy the night before and to set ourselves up for an easier Day Three. 

The morning was beautiful! We passed a few groups of floaters listening to speakers floating in inner tubes alongside massive ice chests in flotation devices of their own. We also passed a handful of very loud dudes joking and cursing up a storm. 

After a few hours, we paused for lunch in a shady spot on a sandbar. Other than a horsefly we'd picked up somewhere along the way, it was a really peaceful stop.


After lunch, we’d decided to paddle another five or six miles—around a small turn and then one more big turn—and then start looking for a spot to set up camp for the night. 

Those turns came and went and while there were plenty of great campsites on either side of the river, they were all occupied! So we paddled on.

After another hour or two, Josh mentioned that we might have gone far enough to make it to the pick-up spot. We’d asked some fishermen a few miles back and they’d told us we’d be four miles from the end when we saw Elephant Rock. And there it was. Perhaps we should just finish and find a hotel for the night?

Josh was clearly heartbroken at the thought of losing a night of camping and we‘d be pushing it to make it back to the dock before nightfall. After a particularly rough patch of paddling, we decided to call it a night and make the most of a campsite we finally found.

Little did we know, that pesky horsefly that had been bothering us all afternoon had also decided to make his camp there. After many bites and a lot of swatting, he won. We called it a night before dark and curled up in our tent passing the time by playing games, giving shot-by-shot descriptions of our favorite cold opens from The Office, and eating snacks from the dry bag.

We slept hard that night calculating we’d accidentally paddled about 25 miles.

The next morning, up bright and early, we packed up camp and prepared to take on the final mile of the river and then go get a huge breakfast and lots and lots of coffee.

The last little stretch of the route intersects another river, which would mean we had to paddle against the current to get to the drop point. Normally this takes quite a bit of effort, but it’s doable. Not today. With overly-worked arms and an extra quick current, we shifted our plans and opted to be picked up another 6 miles down at an alternate dock.

I have to admit, in the moment I was a little defeated since I’d had my sights set on some (a lot of) coffee, but it turned out to be one of the highlights of the trip.

This new river was beautiful—calm and quiet--far less crowded than the other river. We spent large portions of this leg relaxing and letting the current take us.

We looked at homes under construction on the shore and dreamed up possible Summer Camp schedules and memories as we passed a Conference Center.

As we made it to the dock, we were greeted by a handful of families loading and unloading boats, kayaks, canoes, paddleboards, dogs, and kids of various ages—all covered in sunscreen.

We called the Outfitters and sat eating dry Ramen as we waited for the Wild Bill’s team to collect us. We were tired--but in the best way.

Their team arrived and cheerfully loaded up our gear. As we told them where we’d started and how far we’d gone on day two, they all gasped. “What?! 25 miles yesterday? Your arms must be like Jell-O!”

We chatted away during the hour drive back to our car.

Once we were loaded up and ready to head out, we assessed our options. Do we head straight home? Get as far as we can before we stop for the night? Take it easy and drive the majority of the miles tomorrow?

I looked into the same hotel in Hot Springs (mostly so we could have that pretzel and gyro again!) but it was all booked. So, we decided to stop in Little Rock, get de-rivered, have a big dinner, and a good night’s sleep.

Imagine my excitement when I found out Little Rock has Trader Joe’s! We stopped for all of our favorite snacks and made up a charcuterie ‘board’ in our hotel. (A sentimental dinner for us since this is what we did the night before I flew home after my first trip to Texas.)

The roads were clear Labor Day morning making our trip home extra quick! We stopped for coffee and Chick-Fil-A (duh, we were still on vacation) and for a quick photo of Kim's Convenience Store(!!!), and made it home just before dinner.

The clean-up was a tag-team effort when we got home. With everything unloaded in the front yard, I tackled laundry loads one-by-one, (for a total of ten loads) coolers, and dishes while Josh aired out, wiped down, and repacked tools, supplies, and equipment. He did note that this is far more thorough than he would have been if he were coming home from a solo trip, but between the river smell and the spiders, I didn't want to take any risks. I appreciated him for going along with it.

By 7 we were completely unpacked, clean, and ready to sit down and soak up the remainder of the holiday weekend.

I'm sure we'll do another trip like this in the future. Do you have any camping tips or tricks? Any must-have supplies, favorite spots, go-to meals? Tell me all about it in the comments below!

Top 5 Thursday: Etsy Items I Have My Eye On

Between their marketing emails and suggested items on previous purchases, there is no limit to the money I could spend on Etsy.

Here are five Etsy items I have my eye on right now:

1) This gorgeous print (pictured above)

2) A cozy (and friendly!) sweatshirt for Fall

3) Speaking of sweaters... I want to hang these two on our Christmas tree this year

4) I can't get enough of this cute lapel pin

5) And, for my astronaut-loving husband

How about you? Anything you've been eyeing recently?

Jesus the Peacemaker

I posted this on Instagram back in June, but I want it to live here, too. I want anyone who stumbles across this space to know that my husband and I are actively working to be anti-racist and to help teenagers entrusted to our ministry to get a full, true picture of Jesus' life and ministry and live with that same heart.

Yes, Jesus came to bring peace.

But not to keep the peace. 

He gave his life that we might live in freedom, no longer held captive by our sin or shame. AND He fought and spoke out against a man-made system designed to oppress.

If we as Christians claim to follow His teachings and hope others might see Him reflected in our lives, we can not stay silent or stand idly by in the fight for justice.

We must be about bringing change to a man-made system built to oppress BIPOC in the U.S.

Beginning in our own hearts and homes. But not stopping there.

Otherwise, we are living and proclaiming only a partial gospel. One that allows us to decide for ourselves who our neighbors are and how we should love them.

Top 5: Quarantine Purchases

{Can you spot our Stormwatch companion? A bullfrog waiting out the rain in our doorway.}

After months cooped up in their homes, people started to confess the wild things they'd purchased during the "what-time-is-it-what-day-is-it" fog of shelter-in-place. (My favorite is this snake bracelet and roundup from a Blogger/Disability Advocate I follow on Instagram. The comments are also pretty great.)

While we were more in the "penny-pinching" camp during shelter-in-place, we did make a few purchases that were unexpected mood-lifters, in the following days and weeks.

Here are our Top Five Quarantine Purchases:

1. While I think we were both a little leery of the "they're always listening"-side of Alexa, I have to say, our Echo Dot was a source of laughter on more than one occasion. She has great trivia features (including Harry Potter and The Office!), Jimmy Fallon's Dad Jokes, and of course great audio for music and books. Definitely worth the 1984 risks, if you ask me.

2. I'm not an avid user of essential oils (we have a set of three that were a Christmas gift), this Small Diffuser was a great choice for keeping our home smelling fresh (especially after the shaving cream, Sandwich of Doom, and other Youth Ministry nonsense happening in our living room.) There's also a mixture that repels mosquitos while smelling excellent--an added bonus mid-humid Texas Summer.

3. Since I couldn't stop baking--and ingredients were getting harder and harder to come by as the weeks drew on--I finally gave in and bought a huge bottle of vanilla extract. I may have celebrated when it arrived in the mail and there's still about half a bottle left, so it's kind of the gift (to myself) that keeps on giving. 

4. About a month before shelter-in-place, the older brother of the boy I nanny stayed home from school sick. During naptime for little brother, he and I played about 10 rounds of Sequence. As soon as we heard we might be sheltering for a month or so, I bought it for our house. It currently lives under our coffee table because we still play too often to ever put it away. 

5. But the true shining star of our quaran-time was our magnetic screen door. Living in a townhouse, we don't have a ton of outdoor space. We went for walks around the neighborhood and the little manmade lake a few streets over, but there was something freeing, really, about having the option to keep the door open--fresh air, sunshine, the sounds and smell of rain--as we worked from home all day every day. (As a post-quarantine bonus, it has been a real treat watching people try to navigate getting through. Some people look for a zipper, others timidly reach out a hand to gently open it, a few have given up and looked to us for help. It makes me laugh every time.) 

 Runner-up and only on a technicality since we didn't buy it for ourselves: the incredible LEGO set sent as a gift from my mom. We built it slowly over a week, hoping to stretch the excitement as much as possible.

How about you? What was your wild--or at the very least unexpectedly awesome--quarantine purchase?

All items are linked via AmazonSmile and set-up to donate a portion of any purchases to our favorite nonprofit: Precious Kids Center.

FSM: You Belong Here.

As soon as a date had been set for our first Youth Ministry gathering of the post-shelter-in-place season, we started to brainstorm ways to build excitement and anticipation for what God would do in the new school year.

We’d been talking about some possible upgrades to the room for months, but knew most would be more than a one-day job. Since our typical routine requires all three rooms to be functional both Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings, finding a time to start any of these projects was tricky.

With two weeks to go (the start of school also lit a fire under us... we knew we'd need an extra set of hands!) we set to work renovating our primary Youth Ministry space.

The theme of our Spring Semester was You Belong Here. Our hope was that students would feel more and more like the church was a place where they could show up, exactly as they were, and find a group of people who greeted them with open arms. We also hoped they'd extend the invitation of community to their friends.

Josh had designed a slide with that messaging that felt like it would work as a big wall piece. When we showed it to our most artistic student (who's essentially become the FSM Art Director) and she said she liked it, too, we knew we had the okay to run at it.

This was the end goal: 

One massive trip to Home Depot--and a drive-thru coffee stop--later, we were ready!

We started with the easiest bit: painting the wall a light gray. Honestly, that was enough to make the room feel brighter and more inviting. It made us all even more excited to see the final result. 

As we painted the wall, Josh stained the media booth, and our Summer intern Cooper cleaned out (and disposed of) an old, mostly broken refrigerator. You can imagine the mix of smells going on in the room.

While the white wall dried, we set to work painting the opposite wall navy blue (the color of the letters on this wall) with a light gray trim.

Before we left for the night, we chalked off 12"x12" squares which would make it a little easier to paint even triangles. 

The following morning, our Art Director spent an hour or so labeling each triangle with the first letter of the color it would be painted to give a good mix and make sure no two spaces were touching more than they should.

Then came the tape and we were (finally!) ready to paint the first round of color!

As that dried, we cleaned out boxes, folders, and sheet music from the side of the stage and threw out the room dividers helping to hide it all. This made the room feel so much more open and spacious.

Just before lunch, we removed the tape from the yellow shapes and retaped for pink paint.

Around 11pm, we were finally ready to tape and paint the last of the three background colors: a bright blue.

You'll have to forgive me for the missing photo of the pre-lettered background, but it was 1am and we were all far too wiped to remember to document the progress. 

Jenna and I spent another afternoon painting the letters and baseboards while Josh painted the hallway and bathroom doors.

Spotify kept us going; over the course of the week, we listened to 80's Pop, 90's Pop, 70s/80s Folk, 80s/90s Rock, The Beatles, Classic Movie Soundtracks... at one point, we were out of ideas for playlists to search and just started them over again.

The following Sunday morning, students walked in and found this: (minus the painter's tape on the trim) 

Plus that classy new media booth! (Putting the fire extinguisher back in place was the real marker of a finished project. We gave the honor to our Art Director. She'd earned it!)


We are so happy with how it turned out! It was more work than we'd expected but turned out to be well worth it.

We have a few more small upgrades to make in this room and a few more backroom walls to paint, but it already feels like a brand new space. Josh and I are so excited to watch as memories are created and relationships built here.